A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last year, I got my first proper boyfriend. I'd just turned 16 and i lost my virginity to him. I broke up with him in november 2008 after 10 months, because he treated me so bad and the things he did to me/said to me and put me through were unacceptable and i was fed up. I moved on too quick, i still loved him because he was my first love.. despite him admitting to sleeping with someone for 4 months behind my back, raping me, having a child behind my back, cheating on me with two other girls behind my back and having a relationship behind my back, beating me, biting me, pulling my hair and giving me verbal abuse. he was 6 years older than me and i still had time for him.although i'm with someone i love dearly, i just can't get over everything which has happened to me, i'm anorexic and bulimic too and i have always had low self esteem and issues regarding such. i just feel like i'll never get over what he did to me and in a way i feel like he's won because he's ruined me and i feel like i can't trust anyone, despite having a lovely boyfriend. i don't know how to pick myself up, i blame myself because i mustn't have been a good girlfriend if he did all that. he still wants me back now, and in spite he's trying to get with my old best friend. he lives 20 miles away, he doesnt need to come round my area ever again. it's hurting me too much, i feel like i can't move on with my life :( i don't know what to do
View related questions:
anorexic, best friend, broke up, lost my virginity, move on, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Realize that the past is past and what's done is done. Learn from it to make your present and future better. You have control over what you allow yourself to think so when you find yourself trying to re-live those times..stop. You are the one in control of your life, not your ex. Those bad experiences are not your fault...you can't think he was ever a good guy, he never loved you. Realize that now you are moving on with your life...its just a matter of accept the past is not your fault and the past is done. Focus on the you now and your current boyfriend. Despite everything bad you ot rid of him and managed to find a good guy now so trust in that, trust and believe in yourself.
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 First you need to realize it is not your fault. There is never ANY reason for a guy to abuse his girlfriend this way.
He has caused you some severe mental trauma. I think it imparative that you seek professional counsel.
A therapist can help you heal the mental wounds gradually and completely. Then when those wounds are nothing more than scars, they will be just bad memories, not plaguing problems. I hope it goes well for you. Doc
...............................
|
