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I feel like I am spending my life trying to make her happy when I am unhappy myself!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *eaire writes:

Ok so I've been staying with my girlfriend for about 4 months just us two, but at times I feel unwanted , and wanna pack my stuff and just go else were but I never do, I try my hardest to make her happy, but it seems like I'm not doing enough, I can't live my life trying to make someone else happy, when I'm not happy, smh what to do?

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A female reader, bin_real Nigeria +, writes (16 July 2010):

well,i feel u shud discuss this with her,u will be surprised wats wonderful results communication yeilds....and if it still doesn't work out,its up to u,to stay or leave and no one else

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A female reader, aurorepetite United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2010):

Hi,

I think, you should tell her how you feel. I was the same as your girl, spoiled, he gave me all i wanted, told me all i needed, was always there when i needed him. And i was always up and down. I made him suffer a lot,i didnt trust me, that i can be good enough for this whole love. Of course he knew i am attached to him, i love him, but he got tired. He never told e something was wrong. Without any warning he broke up with me, asked for space and time. He left me with a broken heart that heals very hard, because he never told me he felt abandoned, if he had told me, things would have been so different.

So tell her, if she realizes her mistake, give her a chance please.

Good luck and take care!! xxx

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (14 July 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntWell you could talk to her and try to fix things...

but after only 4 months if you're already feeling this glum and I were in your shoes, I'd run fast and far, your happiness should always come first dude.

Best of luck :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

I am in almost the exact situation. I love my gf and bend over backward to make her happy. Yet she still won't trust me and it hurts me. I told her this and she just won't get into it and tell me the real reasons why shes like this. And she tries to make me feel bad about it. Its heading south right now and its like someone said I may have to leave knowing I was sincere in this whole relationship and did it honorably.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2010):

Well, you can't spend the rest of your life trying to make someone happy for nothing at all in return, You'll just end up angry and bitter about it all.

However, sometimes if you try too hard, the other person can get lazy, So, I think the first thing you need to do is tell her how you feel. See if she accepts that there are problems. It might be that she needs to be be told you're not happy.

Clearly though, if nothing changes, you'll need to leave.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

Kay well the best thing to do is tell her exactly how you feel, tell her that you want her to be happy and you wanna do everything to make her happy but you dont feel happy yourself the way things are, tell her whats making you unhappyand try work through it that way. Hope this helped, good luck xx

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A female reader, hunnie poo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (14 July 2010):

I am sorry to here that!!!!I am 22yrs and my husband and I have been married for 5 yrs and I feel the same way as you try all you can just to make them happy and in the end their said you're not trying bad.....it really hurt .....my thing is I have a child with my husband and that's the reason why I will not leave and goo.........but for you you are not married and you a young in your relationship so you better ell her or leave now.......its not a good feeling after being yrs in it....so think and know what you want not just for her but your self okay..........................................................I hope everything works out for you...

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