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I feel insecure without a bf and am not over my ex. Please help.

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 February 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *wincess-sarah-08 writes:

I feel really insecure without a boyfriend and recently i found out i have 5 admirers the thing is i dont like a single 1 of them yet im still not over my ex.

He went out with me for a day dumped me then went out with me again for a day then dumped me again! I saw him with his new gf and i acted like im cool with it :'( im not! I see couples and i feel really jealous because i wanna be like that. help!

View related questions: insecure, jealous, my ex

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A male reader, Moviefan United States +, writes (8 February 2008):

Moviefan agony auntDont go jumping into a relationship until you are over you ex. You could very well want to go back to you ex after starting something with someone else. And you will have to decided to hurt one of them and chances are the new boyfriend will be the one to get hurt. And that isnt fair to the one getting hurt. So dont. But right now it seems that you are missing the act of a relationship not him if you were only going out for a few days. So just enjoy being single until you find someone you like.

Also it sort of sounds like you are centering your life around another person, which isnt healthy. And can have bad effects. And it actually makes you less atractive in most peoples eyes oddly enough because it makes them think you are dependent on them which a lot of people dont like. They want someone who is happy and comfortable with themselves that they dont need someone else to be happy. Basically it makes you have low self esteem in their eyes. This is more common with someone with low self asteem. And it can make a relationship as stable as a yo yo.

Good Luck

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (8 February 2008):

O Connor agony auntyou dont have to feel insecure about being single, its completely normal for ppl your age to be single. if you only went out with the guy for 2 days, then it is probably the idea of a relationship that you miss and not him. try and enjoy the fact that you are single, and enjoy spending time with your friends and meeting new ppl. a boyfriend doesnt fix insecurities so dont go looking for it. it will come to you, you are still young!!i only met my first proper boyfriend wen i was 19 and am still with him, so dont worry

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A male reader, Chris060690 United States +, writes (8 February 2008):

yeha i know the way you feel it happened to me i went out with tis girl for 8 months then she broke up with me out of nowhere and it was a super serious relationship and she went out with another guy in 1 month and i had a feeling i need it a gf cuz my friends had one trust me dont do that its just gonna mess you up and take you down just relax do something else and dont think about it too much you will find someone trust me just dont try too much because its not gonna wor out i tried around 2 relationships after her it didnt worked out because i tought i need it a gf just be yourself have fun youre single then later on youll gt to know someone who realy likes you.

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2008):

hello1 agony auntYou really need to get over this while your young or it can cause you big probelms when your older. Look like the saying goes, you don't NEED a man, it sounds like you dont want one but need one and their two diffrent things. Really you should stay single for a while, get more secure in yourself and just think about youself!

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A male reader, NycZem United States +, writes (8 February 2008):

NycZem agony auntCome to New York, i'll go out with you. lol.

No, all im saying is that you don't have to feel insecure about being single. I have been single since August and I am fine with it. Maybe other people are different, but you should worry about your insecurity, a b/f should be the only thing that makes u secure with urself, cuz that makes it only temporary. So buck up kiddie.

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