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I feel I am second priority after my girlfriend's best friend!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2017)
A male Denmark age 22-25, *L20 writes:

Hey guys. I got a question regarding my girlfriend's best friend.. Well, both of them.

I feel like my girl's best friend is first priority during the day. I literally can't speak with my girlfriend for more than 15 minutes without her best friend or herself texting together. The last night my girlfriend does when she goes to bed is to talk with her and the same thing in the morning.

She barely says good morning to me before she's busy contacting her friend. They're together every second day or so for 7-8 hours at a time.

I feel like it's a relationship of three. Literally, everything they do together is what a couple does, just not the sex and kissing obviously. But everything else. And despite I live with my girlfriend, I feel like I'm a second priority.

View related questions: best friend, kissing, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (29 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou really need to just talk to her and be clear about how you are feeling! If she refuses to listen then maybe you should move out and start just dating again. It might be you have both fallen in to a rut so talk to her and hopefully you can both work it out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017):

How did you end up living together if this behavior was already existing? Did the behavior always bother you? Do you feel like it's preventing you from moving forward in your relationship?

If my bf did that early on I would have dumped him within a month. Everyone is different - I'd respect that he needs to talk to his best friend all the time, but it's just not my cup of tea. So ask yourself if this is a dealbreaker or not. In either case, you need to have a serious discussion with her about it. You need someone who's a good match for you and who makes you a priority.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (18 March 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis young woman isn't mature enough to have a proper relationship with you. She is still behaving like a school kid who needs to be contacting her best friend every five minutes. Don't expect her to change any time soon. I don't think it is even worth opening a discussion with her about it. You know what the answer will be.

Get yourself free.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (18 March 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis young isn't mature enough to have a proper re;ationship with you. She is still behaving like a school kid who needs to be

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A male reader, makandaman United States +, writes (18 March 2017):

Get access to her text messages somehow, read them to find out what they talk about

Ask her why she spends so much time having these excessive contacts

with her friend and if she realizes she may be endangering your relation

with you. If her answers are evasive try to have access to her messages

and responses. If she won't let you see them and gets defensive about

your asking,let her go. She is probably telling you she no longer wants to be with you.,If she contacts you after that and says she wants to get back with you, tell her that her excessive texting and extensive daily contacts with her friend are going to be reduced a whole lot. If she does not agree, let her go. She will have made her choice and don't take her back.

cotact

mm

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