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I feel guilty and trashy for wanting just sex with my ex.

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Question - (8 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it bad that I really want to hook up with my ex? We're on friendly basis. We were together for 2 yrs. But lately, all I can think about is just hooking up with him. It's strictly physical. I asked him if he was interested (twice!) and he said yes but both times I backed out because I'm usually NOT the type of girl to do this. I feel guilty and trashy. But sometimes I just want to do something fun and not worry about the "good girl" thing to do..because I always do that. If it IS bad, then how can I stop wanting it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

Yes, I too would like to know who initiated the breakup before commenting on this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

You are probably going through a dry spell after the breakup.Having sex with an ex is one of the most common fantasies ever.A fantasy is just that-a fantasy.Its your imagination.Its not going to hurt you or anyone.But acting on the fantasy is certain to cause repercussions.Whenever faced with any dilemma start asking yourself some questions.In this case If I were you,the questions I would ask myself are:

1.Can I live with myself after doing it

2.Would my ex think of me as a booty call.Most guys would slot a girl that way after a justsex encounter

3.Do I want to be valued as just a female body or as someone with a heart.

It takes time to form a new relationship.Wait for the next guy.Sex without emotions is plain boring and from your post I don't think it would sit well with your conscience either.It took courage and self control to walk away twice.Kudos girl!Do not do anything you might regret later.~Mrs.Anon

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A female reader, Jozzie United States +, writes (8 February 2010):

I'm wondering this...Who broke up with whom and on what basis? If you broke up with him, then you have to wonder if you're sending mixed signals...even if you SAY it's just physical maybe he thinks it will turn into something more. If HE broke up with you? Then he's a loser who just wants you for your body.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (8 February 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntSex in itself is good, even when done with one night stand, but to make sex more intimate, more spiritual, and energetic, loving relation is considered as advisable. By loving mean, in a state of emotional admiration, emotional liking.

Now you can decide your act, on basis of moral line I have described above.

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A female reader, Kim194 United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2010):

Hi, I was in a similar situation with my ex, I know you say its strictly physical, but is it really, for both of you? because I did end up sleeping with my ex, because i was still madly in love with him and heartbroken, and i never wanted to break up in the first place! it just made the whole thing so much harder, so my advice is, if your sure its just physical (think about his feelings too, he might read more into it!) then i dont see why not, have fun!, but bear in mind that it might be easier just to cut loose and move on, try not to get hurt! and i dont think its trashy, because you have a history, its not like hes a stranger :)xx

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