A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I feel very insecure about myself.. ever since my boyfriend broke up with me, I feel like I will never fall in love again. I still see him on the weekends, go for lunch, watch movies, etc. He says hes still in love with me, but due to obstacles and his current situation, he cant be with me at this time.. I feel like crap all the time. He basically dumped me for no one but still wants me in his life, only now im second best. Before we broke up, he used to complain about my insecurities because I could never stand up for myself and I dont think I could do anything life changing for my future. I used to cry to him alot about how down I was and he could sympathise because he used to have depression. Hes the kindest guy, but when it came to my feelings, he wanted me to figure it out on my own because thats what he did.. now that we arent together, I feel even alone. Yeah he is still very much in my life. But I feel like he is only there because he feels bad leaving me. I feel like I rather die then be like this. I have never trusted guys before (I was raped when I was 14 when I was at the beach and these male passerbys who were about 17-18yo, jus watched as I was assaulted, so hopefuly you can understand my insecurities..)and since being with my ex, I have actually opened up to a male and dont think i can feel the same way again. I am aparently a very attractive person. I am a size 6, natural DD and have an asian decent and I get double stared at and hit on by ALOT of men,, but all I think is that they just want sex and dont care about me. Girls even get envious at me and ive even had two of my friends get boob jobs because they liked the size of mine.. but I still feel really down about myself and think im ugly and no one will ever appreciate me the way my ex did.. please help me. How can I overcome this and move on. Its been three months since the break up.. we were together for 2 yrs.. and its been 5 yrs since i was raped..
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female
reader, kahlan  +, writes (31 August 2009):
 It sounds like you are depressed.You need to get some confidence,and it isnt helping while you are still hanging around this guy,it seems like you are hoping he will change his mind.But while you wait you wont be able to move forward.And honey, you do need to move forward.Forget about guys for a while.You mentioned a couple of female friends,but do you have somone like a best friend?I dont mean anyone to use as a crutch,you should maybe seek out profesional help for that.Look to see if there are any groups near you,or a phone line that just listens to people.There must be a counciller group who helps helps people that have been raped.Try to make friends just to hang around with and have fun.Try to find out if there is any wee classes that you would be interested in so you could meet people.If there isn,t you could try and make your own.Are you interested in anything like reading,creative writing or cross stitch(i just thought of those things as they are my intrests)but it could be anything.Make up leaflets and ask shops if you could put them up.Find somewhere you could meet.The important thing is to try and make friends.That would really help your confidence which is the most important thing just now.You are worthwhile person.Dont let a couple of perverts take that away from you.If you dont work,getting a wee part time job will do wonders for your self-esteem.I really hope everything works out for you, and i send you all my love.You CAN do this.Kahlan.XXX.
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