A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex of 42 recently ended things twice with me and I have lost all trust in him now. He wanted to see me yesterday.I still love him but declined as Im healing and feel it was not a healthy relationship anyway. He had mood swings and was not over his longterm ex when we met. We only dated for three months but it was incredibly intense time. We had a lot of sex and talked the night away. We had so much in common. After I refused to see him he retaliated by calling me selfish,vain and a liar. I believe I am none of those things but I felt hurt and told him to stop. Later he messaged me to say he had recently slept with another woman and didn't want to be personal but she was much better than me in every way and that it was amazing. I was so shocked I started crying while out with friends for dinner and had to leave. I have blocked his sources of contact but am still reeling in shock. How can a man who loved turn so quickly. This hurts more than him ending things. I feel crushed.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (31 May 2016):
 Clearly those appalling actions and his mental instability show you WHY he is an EX to his previous long-term partner and to you!?
He's words are fake and were intended to inflict pain and to punish you for rejecting a meeting. A mood swing that show he’s mentally unstable.
Fortunately it was only 3 months... Dry your tears and be thankful this instability is gone from your presence.
Goodness knows what the future would have been like with him, had you a crystal ball?
Take Care - CAA
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 May 2016):
 Sweetie he probably didn't even kiss another woman, he wanted to see you and you said no so this is him lashing out at you, he wants to hurt you because he is hurting at the moment. You done the best thing blocking him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2016): He is an a$$hole.He is lying.He did not have sex with another woman.It was NOT amazing.Only in his wildest dreams.He is trying to HURT you with TALL tales!So, please don't feel bad. Don't obsess. This is exactly what he wants you to do!Leave him in the dust and start dating again. You will find the right guy for you.Any guy that wants to hurt you so badly is not worth your time. You are BETTER than him!And you WILL find someone BETTER than him!He was just the testing ground... that you had to move through to find your Mr. Right.Good luck. I wish you the best. Navigating today's dating pool is not easy. So, keep your head high and self esteem entact. You want to put your best foot forward for other men. Do not let the baggage he is trying to drop onto you affect your attitude and dampen your spirits. Get out there and have fun! Keep telling yourself IT IS HIS LOSS and that you are going to find somebody wonderful who sees all the good things in YOU! Keep smiling! :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 May 2016):
 Aww, how sad and pathetic this guy is!!
To text your hurtful things because you you no longer wanted to play his games? That is the act of a 10 year old, not a mature 42. So PLEASE PLEASE OP don't take whatever crap he said personal. Because it doesn't say ANYTHING about you, but EVERYTHING about him.
THERE is a good reason this guy is single at 42. He isn't a keeper.
You ask how he turned mean so fast? He didn't. THIS is who he is, he just HID the "asshat persona" for less than 3 months then the mask fell and you saw his "real him".
BE glad, if not ecstatic that he is out of your life. Because he just isn't worthy of you.
And again, STOP beating yourself up. You made a mistake in thinking he was nice, which wasn't a huge mistake -because he ACTED nice enough in the beginning. But you ALSO blocked him and cut him off when he turned hateful. GOOD!
Dating IS hit and miss. This guy? He was a miss. Good riddance to him.!
Wipe you eyes and forget all about him. YOU didn't do anything to "make" him this way, OK? THIS is who he is.
Chin up and get back in the saddle!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 May 2016):
 Considering your age (41-50).... I'm surprised you haven't yet realized that men cease to mature beginning at, about, age 15. Only a few (of us) ever achieve adulthood beyond that.
The creature you described is still a 5-year-old in a candy store with lots of different candies in the display case... and he believes he'd like to try them all....
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, missy_25 +, writes (30 May 2016):
DO NOT BELIEVE those harsh words he said. He is simply attacking you because he is terribly hurt and this is his method of coping. The mature way would've been to talk out what went wrong with your relationship and find a way to make changes so it won't happen again, either as a couple or individually.
Love turns to hate when a person's heart is broken. But hate can turn back to love or friendship if the person is willing to seek understanding and peace.
Pray for him and yourself that you both will find peace.
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