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I fantasise about guys, not girls. Does that make me gay?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, *MiGAY writes:

Hi yeah i am only 16 years old I like girls but when i get horny the first thing that comes to my mind is gay sex, but when i am not horny anymore my mind tells me i am not gay,but i start to think and want guys in my life sexually everyday.....i dont even get that much arroused by girls anymore just guys i fantasize about am i gay or bisexual?

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A male reader, kel001 United States +, writes (24 January 2009):

You're bisexual. Most people are. This is the problem with society is that they want everyone to fit into a designated and very polar group(hetero or homo, bi is the outcast). Sexuality is an infinite spectrum. Because it's infinite, neither extreme can be reached. Sooner or later, given the right opportunity, a straight person will be gay and a gay person will be straight. It's all about attraction and it's difficult to constrain attraction because it's so complex for each person.

For now I would just declare yourself hetero or homo depending on who you want to date. It'll be our little secret that you're bi. :)

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A male reader, XemOXBoYx Argentina +, writes (23 June 2008):

that happens with me , when im about to ........ the first thing that hops into my mind is one of my classmates ( a guy) and i dont know what to do

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A male reader, Slasher United States +, writes (16 December 2007):

Slasher agony auntHmm...no one could do a better analysis of this situation than you. But from what I've read, I think you're gay. Perhaps you don't "mind" being with a girl when you're not horny because it's acceptable and it's what society expects from you. But let me ask you this: if it was "normal" to have an open homosexual relationship would you be with a girl or a boy? If your answer is the latter, you're not bisexual, you're homosexual.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007):

Like a previous comment, if you like both then you may be bi. Then again, you probably need to get in more relationships with both before you really know. Depends which one you fall in love with.

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A male reader, aim Philippines +, writes (14 December 2007):

aim agony aunthey man. Me too! Or so i think... I like women but not as much as men sexually. I dont mind having a relationship either with a guy or a girl. But since i am turned on by men sexually, i kinda have a better prefrence for men in a relationship.

Tell me more specifically 'how' you like women.

And maybe we'd be able to sort this thing out. But i have a big hunch you're bi. :)

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A male reader, AMiGAY United States +, writes (13 December 2007):

AMiGAY is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the help....

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (13 December 2007):

Well dude the fact that you fantasise about it may be a sign that you are gay.Try getting intimate with a guy and see if you'll enjoy it then you'll know for sure your gay status.You've even noticed that girls don't turn you on as much.The earlier you find out the better for you.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007):

Well you could be, but the thing with fantasy is that it can be over something that you would like to do or something you no you will never do.

For example: I can happily get aroused on my own by the thought of men, women or both, In the real world I am not attracted to women and Im committed to my partner anyway, but thats what makes these thoughts even more exciting.

What I am trying to say is yes you may be gay or bi but you could just be exploring your imagination to see what turns you on. Your young, theres no harm done either way.

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