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I fancy the friend of my boyfriend, help!

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 November 2004) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2007)
A , anonymous writes:

I am engaged to a great guy. We've lived together for 2 years now.

He introduced me to his friends. I got on fine with them. But there is one guy, J, that I can't stop thinking about.

When I first met him, here was nothing, I just liked him. But once, at the party, we had a very intense conversation about our lives and I felt unbelievable chemistry. Since then, I can't stop thinking about him.

I'm a sensible person so I thought that the best way to forget him would be not seeing him. So I avoided seeing him for nearly 4 months. Then I saw him again and it was the same...

I still love my fiancé and we have good times together. I don't want to ruin everything. But I do think about J so very often. It's been a year now. I don't want to go crazy. Could this guy be my true love or is it just something have to fight? I'm very confused.

J has a girlfriend and a baby but he's only with her because of the baby (I know for sure). That doesn't help anyway.

Please help,

C.

View related questions: engaged, has a girlfriend

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007):

i know how you feel iv been with my boyfreind fotr a few years now we get on greast but lately iv been getting on better with his freind i realy fancy him and i dont know what to do as i dont want to hurt my boy freind

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007):

rock and hard place!! i think that it might just be a case of infatuation, which in itself is a very powerful emotion. with is underlined with a need for instant gratification, believe me, if you did leave your partner or even jepodise your relationship you would not feel truly happy with yourself, and if you did start a new relationship, what would happen if you once again had these strong feelings for someone else? maybe what you really need to do is look at your life and try and identify what areas need improving and work on them......good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2005):

You really have to make a choice. Your fiancee or his friend. If you have feelings for someone else then you don't love your fiancee enough to marry him. Just keep avoiding this other guy but if you see him again and the feelings cannot leave you then you need to be honest with your fiancee. If you have feelings for someone else you may also want to do things you never thought you could do. You would feel more like a fool after marraige then before. It has to be one or the other.

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