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I experimented with myself and now I don't know how to feel. Any advice?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi. Last night I found myself experimenting with my body. I suddenly had all these urges which were probably brought on by the fact that I haven't had sex in nearly a year. At one point, I even tried finding and stimulating my g-spot...... And I'm sure most of you will know how that is located. I was surprisingly comfortable while I was doing it, and I guess you could say it was my first experience of penetrating myself. I enjoyed it, but afterwards I felt pretty ashamed and in some ways a little unsure how to feel. I don't think there are many (straight) guys who will have tried this out, unless I'm mistaken. I have no questions about my sexuality; I'm straight, but the fact that I got enjoyment out of what I was doing is just a little confusing. Can you help me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

it feels awesome the best thing ever dont be ashame its ure body keep up wat ure doin!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

How to feel? Good! Great! Awesome! Thats how you should feel... for a long time I was just like you, embarrassed of my own explorations (my two previous girlfriends were WAY against the idea... I live in a VERY homophobic and sexually repressed area so it would have been taken out of context. Even shunned) My current girlfriend didn't even know, but casually introduced it to our relationship one passionate night with a little finger. Its an AMAZING feeling. If it feels good, do it. Its your life and your body. If you're worried about your friends or peers, then keep it in the bedroom. What they don't know won't hurt them, and denying it to yourself will only bring you personal shame. I'm a straight guy with an appreciation for a little anal, and I'm not afraid to tell myself that. If you find a partner, introduce it gently, even go online and show her the statistics. As many as 1 in 3 straight men by some studies regularly enjoy it. If she is not comfortable using her hands (it can be intimidating) then get a little toy that you can both play with. Many women enjoy it too as long as the toy is comfortably small. It EVEN HAS HEALTH BENEFITS! Its good for your prostate! Feel no shame! Enjoy! And if you're worried, just keep it in the bedroom. Not telling someone doesn't make it shameful, its just your personal privacy. Like the Password to your computer.

As for future advice:

- Toys are fun in a coupled enviroment, its exciting to have a lot of options in the bedroom.

- Be safe. (trimming your nails ahead of time can avoid unpleasant accidents, and keeping hands and toys clean can prevent illness)

- Gently push your limits. In all ways in the bedroom, both solo and in a relationship, if you are comfortable with everything you are doing and want to add some spice, push your limits a little at a time. Enjoying your little toy for a while? Maybe try something that vibrates. Interested in Bondage? Play with some fuzzy handcuffs or a blindfold.

As I said before, its your life and your body. Enjoy it every way you can. And remember, you are always free to have a private life. Its nobody's business unless you want it to be.

Best Wishes, and Enjoy!

-Tony (20)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. Personally as a female around your age, I find open minded guys a turn on and much more fun sexually speaking.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

Don't feel guilty or ashamed for exploring your own body, it'll be better for you in the future when you know what you like with a partner. And do make sure you use some lubrication and wash well afterwards--there are bacteria to worry about in the anus. Enjoy your b ody and maybe you'll be able to share your knowlege a partner someday who'll enjoy things as much as you do.

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A female reader, Miss_Oz United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2008):

Miss_Oz agony auntTo many, it might seem like a homosexual act for a man to explore and pleasure themselves anally; it is completely normal, mainly because of that simple reason, pleasure. It feels good because the anus is extremely sensitive, filled with nerve endings and as you say, a man's g-spot is inside his rectum and the sensation of stimulating that little spot can be mind-blowing, for straight and gay men alike. It's obviously not something people talk about much because masturbation of any sort is a private thing but that doesn't mean it's wrong, or a shameful thing. You enjoyed it, as your body is designed to, nobody got hurt and as long as you continue to be gentle with yourself (I recommend a water-based lubricant to aid your exploration) I see no harm in your private practise. I'd bet that most men who haven't tried anal play would regret not making some attempt if only they knew the pleasure in store! You dared to do something many men wouldn't do because they might think it 'too gay' and you dervied pleasure from it. I say, bravo to you and have fun!

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A female reader, joannaleigh United States +, writes (18 February 2008):

joannaleigh agony auntOh Please-- pleasuring one's self is one of the great joys in life! And I applaud you for not having random sex all the time, having been abtinent for the past year. That means sex clearly means something to you. Good for you.

Pleasure for men and women can be obtained in so many ways it can't even be counted, and none of it means you're gay or straight or whatever. You know what they say: Do it, do it, do it till you're satisfied!

You just do your thing, baby, and don't worry about it.

joannaleigh

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A male reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (18 February 2008):

Gee! women have G-Spots but never heard of us men having such a spot,anally speaking. You have been doing some anal exploration,And it's quite normal for lots of men to do that,so nothing to be ashamed of,as the rectum is a great area,for both men and women to help turn themselves on. But do be careful and go slow in the insertion of fingers or any other object into the rectum,and let your sphinter-muscles relax and get us to your insertion.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008):

i think it's perfectly normal and natural, i have a mate (19) who recently confided in me that he does it regularly, and has worked his way up to using 3/4 fingers! it's nothing to be ashamed of

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