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I embraced Christianity, but I still have the urge to be a swinger. Can anyone help me?

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Question - (17 July 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2011)
A age 51-59, * writes:

Wow this is scary, but I just thought it would be easier then going to a counselor or something. Before I gave my heart to Christ, my very beautiful and yes sexy wife and I played around with the thoughts of swinging. After we be came Christian we spend night and day in the Word and our hearts started to change. But lately, maybe several months now I’ve hungered to have that threesome we plained on having. Real bad at times. I even look at the old photos we made together on swingers sites and wished we had done it. I asked her but she refused and said pray it away. I cry out to Jesus and it passes for awhile until she dresses up and rocks my world as she always has and it returns stronger then the last time. What do I do? I can’t seem to lose this Hunger and lust for a threesome. I know I’m asking a lot but I had to try, wow even typing I feel the lust growing and the desire coming again. I already know what the Bible says but yet I'm still wanting it, Any help would be great? Any advice?

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (22 November 2011):

Google "Liberated Christians" and start reading... following Christ and have a great sex life should not be exclusive. You can still swing and follow Christ!

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A male reader, Jagz901 Singapore +, writes (19 July 2008):

When you move closer to God, the Satan works harder for you to Backslide. This is what's exactly happening with you. All this is temporal and you yearn for eternal life. These sacrifice and resistance to temptation will help you achieve it. If your mind still wavers about the presence of God and Satan, please refer to various stories on Exorcism and you will know how Satan can work. This is scary enough to know how actual hell's gonna be.The decision to surrender to Lord is the best decision a couple can take in their lifetime. This will make your marriage and your relationship Rock Solid. Trust me because ive had same thoughts and moved away from it. We have our ups and downs but nothing can shake it. not even Satan.

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A male reader, iateadonut China +, writes (17 July 2008):

Oxytocin is a kind of chemical they can inject directly into a rat's brain to make them monogamous.

Maybe you can get a syringe of it and inject it into your brain.

Also, I think if you google it, the keywords like "oxytocin" or "monogamous neurochemical," you might find some techniques that help you to naturally produce it.

You'll probably have to do some yogic stuff like learning to concentrate on your wife's face as you do the things (cuddling) to elicit the production of oxycotin in your body, because if you're thinking about a threesome when you do it, it could be counter-productive...

[MOD NOTE: Dearcupid does not condone drug use, and cannot give any assurances about your safety. If you look into taking this then do it through a medical professional. We cannot be responsible for you following this advice and dying or being maimed by it.]

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2008):

Well if you follow the teachings of Christ.... he was basically a giant hippy and I think he'd be ok with it. I mean he used his powers as the son of God to get people drunk at a wedding!!

If you follow the old testament and believe in all the anti-gay, no coveting of other people's wives / sheep then you are pretty much stuffed.

You need to figure out what kind of Christian you are going to be and then as long as no one gets hurt it should be fine.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntSwinging, or threesomes, don't work for most people - although a few do manage that sort of lifestyle along with a lasting relationship. Too often they think it sounds exciting and it ends up damaging the relationship.

As I see it, the whole point of being married is that you dedicate yourself and your desires to your partner. Christianity emphasises that view, I think. I don't see a problem with having dreams and fantasies, but like any fantasy or desire it becomes a problem if it starts to take over your life and your thoughts.

Lust and desire is good - whether in a Christian context or otherwise if it's channelled towards your wife. There are a million and one games and activities that the two of you can get up to - all perfectly acceptable within a Christian way of life and only involving the two of you in the privacy of your own bedroom (or other rooms if there's no one else around!). Have you thought of trying other directions? You, and she, could for example look at role play where you each "become" a different person.

If you truly love each other, then the possibilities together are endless and don't have to involve anyone else. Scary, you said. Yup. It can be that too!! The sexual thrills for an inventive couple who know each other's desires, quirks and limits can go far beyond any swinging or threesomes. Go for it. Rock HER world and let her rock yours in a way you never imagined possible - because, I promise you, it IS possible if the two of you put your minds to it.

Good luck. Enjoy.

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (17 July 2008):

Hmmm first I am wondering what were your reasons for embracing Christianity in the first place?

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