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I dreamt I had a penis and had sex with a woman! Why does this all mean?

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Question - (23 April 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 27 April 2010)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

This is a really personal dream. I mean – I feel weird about being open about this but I really want to know what it meant… Before I begin, anyone reading this should understand that I’m female in real life. I’m heterosexual. And yes, I've had a dream where I had a penis and had wild sex all night with a woman. But I was not feeling like a man. And my husband came to the room, and was crying. I never felt so crazy after a dream, when I woke up. What do you think, might be going on here?

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2010):

BettyBoup agony auntI think Myau's makes the most sense. Perhaps you were acting out what you would like done to you? Funnily enough, I have had a similar dream and it was a really odd feeling upon waking! I remember in graphic detail what I did as a man. It wasn't myself I was sleeping with either, just another woman. Not someone I know, just a generic, but attractive woman. I wondered if I desired to be with a woman, but perhaps it had more to do with the disatisfaction I unfortunatly had with my partner at the time. Makes sense! I was fantasising about the sex I wanted to be having. You describe the sex you had in your dream as wild. Is that the kind of sex you really want? Maybe try spicing things up with your husband.

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (24 April 2010):

Myau agony auntI have a different interpretation:

After thinking for a bit, I figure that you are perhaps unhappy with said husbands performance in bed and thus you dreamed that you can do a better job.

Do you remember what the women looked like? did she look like you?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 April 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Your dream would make dear old Dr. Freud smile with pleasure : penis envy ! The fact is that many women, as some conscious or subsconsious level, envy penises and their owners not because they want to have sex with a women, or because they don't like being female or having a vagina- but because the penis is an universal symbol of power . Which makes a lot of sense being that until very recent times all the social and economical powere was in the hands of people having a penis. so,in dream language , I have a penis = I have power. I have strength. I am in charge.

is there any area of your life in which you feel a lack of empowerment ? do you have to sacrifice your wants and needs to keep your husband, or your family,happpy ? Is there anything over which you would like to have more control ?

Of course, this is just a possible interpretation key. Some times ,like C.G.Jung would say " a cigar is just a cigar ". Or,like TimmD says, a dream is just a dream :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010):

It don't mean anything a dream is a dream that's all

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (23 April 2010):

chigirl agony auntHeheh, TimmD Im a dream interpreter so you and I are complete opposites.

It is hard to tell you what this dream means though, as it is one with a lot of symbolism. Lets start with how you did not feel like a man. That is evidence that you still consider yourself woman and that you are still you. Sounds weird? Well it just means that you can rest assured: you don't have a hidden man inside you and you are not secretly a lesbian.

Then, you have a penis. For many this is always the hidden erotic question I guess. How does it feel for the other gender? You have a desire to explore this, and a desire to explore the male side of you. This could mean that you want to venture into areas where you are not supposed to be. Your husband crying is a clear indication of this. By going somewhere/doing something you are not supposed to you will hurt someone you love.

The dream does not mean you wish to have sex with someone else or even cheat on your husband. But it signals that there is something deep within you that you want to explore, perhaps something that is better left alone.

I can only speculate why your dream put you in the body of a man, and not only that but also let you have sex with a woman. Only you can know the true meaning of it. Do you often wonder what it would be like to have sex as a man? Do you feel that you are taking upon you the role of the man in your relationship?

Either way I see this dream as meaning that you are taking upon you a role, or the desire to be in this role, that you are not meant for. And this is what will hurt others. You should stay true to the one you are.

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2010):

supermum agony auntlol, i am sure many women wish they had a penis for a day...i know i certainly would! I wouldnt worry about it!

I do believe dreams mean something...but not something that will happen, i believe dreams are just your bodys way of dealing with stress, and problems.

If i were to read into your dream, i would suggest that perhaps you are stressed and need a release, hence the sexual nature of the dream (or perhaps you are not getting as much sex as you would like)...the fact that your husband walked in could possibly mean you are worried about how you are living up to your responsibilties as a wife, or perhaps you have done something you feel guilty about?

These are just ideas off the top of my head, i am not a 'dream reader' but i know the way my mind works lol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010):

I wouldn't read too much into it, dreams are just our subconcious having fun...and that can lead us to many wierd and strange places. Sex dreams are a bonus, enjoy it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010):

One of my friends is really big on dream interpretation. I'm not going to try to tell you what this means, but one of my favorite dream guides can be found at www.dreammoods.com. Check out the dream dictionary and look up the themes. I've found it pretty useful when I've had questions about my dreams.

Now, my degree is in psychology. There are a number of ways that dreams are interpreted in the field. Different theories place different levels of importance on dreams. Some say they are repressed memories, some say they are accessing the collective unconscious, some say they are just random firing of neurons while you sleep. Whatever the case, they usually have something to do with things that have been weighing on your mind. I'd ask myself, "why might I dream I'm a man?" and go from there.

Wish I could be more help. I wouldn't worry too much about dreams. It doesn't mean you want a sex change or are a lesbian.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (23 April 2010):

TimmD agony auntI'm one of those people who believe sometimes a dream is just a dream. If you're confident that you are heterosexual and enjoy sex with men, then ignore it.

I don't buy into all of that belief that dreams are symbolic to hidden things in life. Just ignore it, and try to get a good nights sleep tonight.

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