New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I don't want to watch him die

Tagged as: Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2009)
A female New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My bf is 25 and im turning 23.

He's got high blood pressure but taking medication right now.

Should we even think about getting married or should we end our relationship?

I don't want to see him die. I don't want to be left alone to deal with the pain.

I am losing my mother and I don't want for my future husband to be leaving me too.

should I be worried?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, beauty344 United States +, writes (2 October 2009):

beauty344 agony aunthi hes not going to die all he needs to do is take care of him self and take hes MEDS everyday and eat right and thats something that both of you should do ... but you shouldnt be thinking about leaving him you love him ... and this is the time that he needs you the most ... take care and wish you the best get back to me and let me know how everything works out ....

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009):

I am sorry to hear about your mother.My husband of 20 years has had high blood pressure since he was 19 & yes I do worry about him. The question should be when your getting married is do you love him? If the answer is yes then go for it and enjoy every year

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (1 October 2009):

If he eats healthily, looks after himself, then there's no reason why shouldn't have a life together. The thing is, how would you feel if you left, knowing he was the one and that you could have had time together? It would be a shame to throw it away over somethat that although could be serious, can be treated.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, paddys wife United Kingdom +, writes (1 October 2009):

I have just had to watch my much loved husband pass away at 60 we had 10 wonderfull years together ,you are in a bad place waiting for your mums end you are going to need a loving relationship when that happens ,your man is younge enough for medical and good life style to prolonge his life so if hes the love of your life take up the challenge to keep him with you as long as possible and remmember to cherishe your love while you have it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009):

I am sorry to hear you are losing your mother, but you shouldn't jump to any conclusions yet. Its a lot to deal with your mom and you are starting to worry more about someone else you love and losing them too. You cant do that to yourself. You need to stay positive and not worry. Live your life to the fullest and take on whatever obstacles come your way with strength and courage. High blood is serious, but its treatable and there are far worse things he could have. He wont die anytime soon cause of it as long as he takes care of himsef. And you can be there to help support him and take care of him too. If you truly do love him and want to be with him, dont worry or be afraid, just give him your heart and find happiness with him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009):

If you truely love someone whether or not the have an illness shouldn't change your mind about marriage. Just by inplying that you would leave him becaus ehe is sick shows that you are not mature enough to even consider marriage. Marriage is for the rest of your life. what if he gets in a terrible accident would you just bail and not be there for him. Yes, you should break up with him, so he can find someone who LOVES him and CARES about him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, HereAreMyTwoCents United States +, writes (1 October 2009):

HereAreMyTwoCents agony auntSome people have high blood pressue from a young age probably due to their genes. I used to work with a 22 year old girl and she has a boyfriend and she too has high blood pressure (and doesn't eat too much salt, according to her). Just because your boyfriend has high blood pressure at a young age is not a reason to break up the relationship. People get all kinds of health problems as they go through life. You yourself in two years may find out that you too have some sort of chronic condition that interferes with your life. They can strike at any age. Would you want him to leave you because of it? I was 24 years old (now 27) when I found out I had a mild form of interstitial cystitis. Had I acquired a severe form of this condition, it is possible that sex, for example, might have become too painful a lot of the time. Would I want my husband to leave me because of that? No, I would want him at least try see if we can find a way to work around it. So what I am saying to you is instead of sitting around worrying whether or not he is going to die, read about his condition on the internet and look for ways of helping him with it, learn how to cook tasty low-sodium meals for him, make sure he's always stocked up on salt substitutes, things like that. And even if he dies in say 15 years, maybe this is just the romantic in me speaking, but... even if he dies in the end... at least you will know that you got as many years as you could together with the man you loved. Think of the alternative. What if his condition does NOT kill him early. Wouldn't you regret not knowing what could have been? It's very likely that he will live a normal length life with the drugs we have out today. (I know of a woman who has lived with her diabetes since she was a little girl and has no plans on dying before she gets old). The worst case scenario that you are fearing is like this one: I have a cousin, 22, and this January she got engaged to her boyfriend, they had been going out for like 3 years. Well, a few days after they got engaged, the following happened 1) he passed his his diploma thesis, and 2) he died of a heart attack three days after that. He was 30 years old. But he also smoked, and was a bit overweight. Did not take care of himself, in other words. She is still mourning him, a few months later. She says that just when everything was going better than ever between the two of them, he died. She says she lost the love of her life, and she feels like a widow, because they were supposed to spend the rest of your life together. But this doesn't have to happen to your boyfriend. All it means is that he has to watch his health more carefully than other people, and goodness knows we should all be watching our health more carefully. What I am saying to you is this, the worst can happen at anytime, but you cannot let it get in the way of love. It is no way to live life. I think that you already know that.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, confusedguy1 Australia +, writes (1 October 2009):

confusedguy1 agony aunthey

if you truly love him , just stay beside him

don't end the relationship for reason like this

no but you have to stand next to him and support him

good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (1 October 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntMany people have high blood pressure that is controlable by medication. Please give us something more to go on than having HBP?

Is he terminal?

What is going on with your mother?

I don't want to assume anything on a health question unless you give us some info as to his prognosis for one.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I don't want to watch him die"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312370999963605!