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I don't want to play games, but should I back off? Am I being too intense?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 November 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 November 2015)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

Would like to ask the women a question.

Met a woman a couple months ago, were in our late fifty's, been going out once a week, for a month or so.

I really like her, like in falling for her, but should I stay the way I am? I treat her really good, very romantic, I don't want to play the games, like act like I don't care.

I want to treat her like an angel, I feel so good when am around her, but am probably coming on to strong, but I don't want to play a Game to make her fall for me.

She's so beautiful to me, should I back off some, like don't contact her some times for a couple days, don't ask her out on every weekend, don't tell her she's beautiful every day, open car doors, write her romantic poems, buy her sweet things, cook dinners for her.

We only have been seeing each other one day a week, I know I throw a lot at her, but I have this physical feeling in my heart for her, you see am the one who gives every body dating advice, but I don't listen to my self, you all know how I feel about her all ready.

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A female reader, dearkelja United States +, writes (15 November 2015):

dearkelja agony auntI agree with the others, you are coming on too strong. She will enjoy the dinners out but the poems are too personal at this time in your relationship. I would be thinking of backing off if someone was this strong. Let her grow her feeling for you before you push yours on her.

Don't play games. Love is not a chess game fraught with moves and counter measures. Be yourself, call to say hello and don't linger or force the coversation. Be light and positive. Give her space too.

Best of luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 November 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIt seems a LITTLE over the top with poems and sweet gifts. You can't buy someone's affections. So that IS coming on too strongly. If it was me experiencing a guy like that, I would be wary because I would question what ulterior motive there is behind the presents. And poems... yeah, not every woman enjoy that. Again it can seem to "rehearsed" (think Mr. Colins of Pride and Prejudice and his "studied" compliments?)

Save the gifts for special occasions, poems too.

Cooking her dinners are fine, but since you two have ONLY dated a couple of months, I'd actually stick to dates in public, be it lunch, a nice walk, dinner, dancing or whatnot. When you invite someone to your home it can make them a little uncomfortable or feel pressure where none is meant to be.

Once you two KNOW each other better then you can make her dinners.

Just TRY and relax and be yourself.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (14 November 2015):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntTone it down or youll scare her off i guarantee it. Shell see the behavior as needy or dependent or worse... very soft and unmasculine. Yes, unmasculine. Back off and let her initiate contact.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (14 November 2015):

Ciar agony auntPersonally, I think you could tone down the compliments, the romantic poems and gifts. You can be affectionate without being over the top.

Don't avoid contacting her for the sake of it as she'll start to question your motives. Be consistent and take your cue from her. If she seems irritable and you think she's starting to pull away, then back off a bit.

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