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I don't want to have a relationship with him but I'd like him as a friend.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 January 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *rixie66 writes:

Me and my ex (who i've known my entire life) split up a year ago because he started to treat me bad and was showing signs of unfaithfulness. However, a year on me and him were supposedly over the relationship and he requested that we be friends. We met up just for a general 'catch up' but towards the end of our day out, he started to bring up the good times we shared in the relationship, got all sentimental and admitted that he still felt for me and no other girl compared to me. He also kept trying to touch my hand, arm and leg throughout the day but I kept shaking him off subtly.

I must admit that although I'm over the relationship, I still feel some chemistry. And i'm still sexually attracted to him which I hate.

He told me he didn't do relationships since me and him split and preferred to just sleep around. Then he started to talk dirty to me and although inwardly I wanted to submit I acted nonchalant and told him to stop and that I didn't feel the same way he did in case he was after my company for one reason...sex. The main reason we split was because he started online flirting with other girls so I left him to it and moved on with my life.

Although I still like him somewhat (even though he's a manipulative arrogant pig), I would never want to be with him again in a long term relationship. I'd like to be friends with him because we have alot in common, but is this such a good idea?

View related questions: flirt, my ex, split up

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNope it is a terrible idea, you will develop feelings even though you don't want to, you will end up having sex with him, he will end up leaving you heartbroken after gotten what he wanted. Honestly just end the contact, it is a car crash waiting to happen and you will be the one left hurt and heartbroken.

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A male reader, Roboaxe United States +, writes (29 January 2017):

Roboaxe agony auntHe very clearly wants to have you around for sex. He even went straight for the dirty talk.

You don't want him around for that, and want a "friend" instead? For what purpose? Think he'll listen to your day to day activities? Give you advice?

No. He just wants to sleep with you again.

If you said he's a pig, he's a pig, don't see him again.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (29 January 2017):

Aunty BimBim agony auntTo answer your question, is this a good idea, no, it isn't.

He doesn't want you for a friend, he wants to manipulate you into being a convenient hole for him to stick his penis in ... he has no emotional attachment to you, why would you want to have something like this in your life, let alone your circle of friends

He is an ex for a reason, so push him back into the past where he belongs and move forward with your life.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 January 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHe isn't looking to be your friend, he is looking to USE you as a F-buddy. Someone to park his penis in when he can't find other girls to sleep around with.

Maybe in a few more years when he has GROWN up a little and matured he can be a "friend" of sorts - for now, though, he can't.

He will continue to "play his tiny violin" so you feel sorry for him and sleep with him.

Tell him STRAIGHT up that all the dirty talk, and touching is a no- no and that you feel it's better to NOT get reacquainted right now as he doesn't SEEM to be looking for friendship. Wish him well and LET HIM GO. Then BLOCK him. He will be OK. Trust me he will find someone else to mess with and have sex with.

He hasn't changed one bit.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (28 January 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntWhy would you want "a manipulative arrogant pig" as a friend? You don't; you just think you do because he's familiar. You wouldn't want him as your friend if he was a stranger and you knew he was so awful, so don't cave now - he clearly wants a sexual relationship with you because you had to keep rejecting his advances.

OP, you know this won't end well, so please cut off all contact with him.

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