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I don't want to get back together with my wife but I'm gutted that she's seeing someone!

Tagged as: Dating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have recently separated from my partner of 20 years as we have drifted apart - I caused the split as I have been very unhappy for the past year or so.

Since we separated I have been living on my own and enjoying being free again. I have had a couple of one night stands but nothing serious.

My wife told me today that she is seeing someone else on a regular basis - I knew she was dating people and was quite happy about that. However, I feel gutted at this news and I dont understand why - I do not want to get together with her again - but I feel as if my heart as been torn out!

I am not sure of this is just jealsoy at her meeting someone and me not - or if there is something deeper going on here.

If anyone on here can explain what is going on it woul dbe apprictaed!

View related questions: get back together, one night stand

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A female reader, unmeidaagonyaunt United States +, writes (29 August 2011):

unmeidaagonyaunt agony auntYou got what you thought you wanted and you are still not happy.

Maybe you should focus less on your (ex?)wife and more on what it is that you really want, and why you are so focused on her when you clearly have your own baggage to process.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011):

U need to realise that u wanted out of your marriage and u did.

Perhaps u never thought of your wife actually moving on. The fact that she is now having amazing sex with someone else makes u realise what u threw away. When u left her u thought that u would find someone to replace her very soon, now that the shoe is on the other foot u are a tad bit jealous that she could replace u so quickly.

Perhaps others here on DC who have been discarded after many years together will find the light after also realising that after 20 something yeas together u can get a second chance at happiness.

OP i do not suggest u ask your ex on a date. She is finally happy so allow her to be happy.

LoveGirl

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A female reader, 1on1 United States +, writes (7 August 2011):

Maybe you still have feelings for her. you could suggest that maybe you date and see if sparks still fly...

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