A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my bf for a few months and we had sex about 4 times but each time he found an excuse not to carry on such as he was too drunk. i asked him about it and hes just told me that its bugging him that im not a "screamer" in bed. he feels like hes not satisfying me because i dont make any noise so he doesnt feel like carrying on. what can i do? i explained to him that im not the noisy type in bed, i dont feel comfortable doing it but he cant enjoy sex unless he knows i am which i really do, i just wouldnt feel comfortable making loads of noise because i would be faking it and i dont want to fake it with him. i havnt told him this but the truth is im one of the many women who cant orgasm through penetration. in fact the only way i can is through Clitoral Stimulator using a vibrator, no man has ever brought me to an orgasm but i dont want to tell him this as no guy wants to think he can never satisfy his girlfriend through sex. the thing is i do enjoy sex and i dont need an orgasm, i really enjoy having sex with him as i like the feeling of closeness etc but how can i convince him during sex that i am being "satisfied" (which i am, i just dont orgasm) so he can carry on and orgasm himself?? im really want to please him.i think the main problem is hes only ever been with one other girl and he told me today that she was really sensitive so he always knew he was satisfying her and hes only got her to compare me with. please help me, i dont want him to feel useless in bed anymore
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drunk, orgasm, vibrator Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh and in answer to lazy guys questions, we do actually have sex but he would stop after about 15 minutes or something but now i know why he kept stopping so thats no the issue i guess. And we've had sex drunk once on his birthday and i was drunk too.
i can only come through masturbation with a vibrator - no guy has ever made me come but im not bothered about coming, i just want to please him by showing i do enjoy sex and then at least he can enjoy it and climax himself, thats all i want.
and i know his ex wasnt faking it because we are friends and i know what shes like
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry i think most of u have misread what i said. i said he used excuses SUCH AS he was too drunk. he only used that once and to be honest i was pretty drunk too because it was his birthday and a massive group of us went on a bar crawl so i completely understand that. He gave other reasons like he could hear his housemate outside his room and it was putting him off. he just said it was pissing him off because he cant tell if hes pleasing me but like i said before, im just one of those women who cant climax through sex but that doesnt bother me. But i feel like an idiot moaning cz its not natural, id have to put it on, im more of a physical person like tensing or digging my fingers in his back and things like that but i guess im going to have to watch some porn to master my moaning skills
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Screw him, not all women are the sreaming pornstar type. He probably should lay off the porn, and read some articles about womens anatomy, and he needs to ask you what makes you feel good! Plus, if hes too drunk to have sex, he needs to go to some AA meetings, because thats a serious claim!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (8 April 2008):
 Hi,
I think he is exaggerating when saying he likes a "screamer". He is probably doing this out of frustration .
I have to admit If my lover was silent during sex it would be a problem for me. But you are right, you shouldn't fake moans and groans when they don't come naturally.
But have you thought about this, try talking to him when he is making love to you. Tell him how good it feels , how you want more, how satisfied you feel. That is not faking it just verbally giving him a pat on the back. We guys need to know that our girls are actually enjoying it.
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A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (7 April 2008):
Hi
i think as you get older as a male you understand that women like the Clitoral Stimulator. and young men want to show how long they can last.
you need to take control and maybe explain what does it for you. i can remember what i did at that age and i expect it was crap for the women.
if you think he will not understand you may be right as men mature later than women and it takes time for them to relise there is a great deal more to sex than wam bam.
message if i can help. in words i mean. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Get a copy of the Hillary Clinton "chuckle", and play it for him when your ...
I never like having sex with someone who had been drinking to much, guess I'm old fashion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Try a vibrating ring. You can look them up on the Trojan condom website, and they are pretty cheap at wal-mart. Google 'Trojan vibrating ring'. They sit at the base of a man's penis and therefore provide you with the clitoral stimulation.
Don't feel bad about throwing in a few gasps or moans...it's not REALLY lying of you're REALLY enjoying the sex, right? Maybe if you just let go and relaxed and concentrated on what was going on, you would feel that moan in the back of your throat. It's very primal and animalistic...don't be afraid of your inner sex-kitten.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (7 April 2008):
 Wait a minute, you are saying you had sex with this guy 4 times but each time he used the excuse of beign too drunk for not carrying on.
So did you have sex or not? Also, why only when he is drunk? That doesn't exactly help his performance in bed you know. What is wrong with sex when sober?
Can you come from masturbation/oral?
As for his ex being a screamer, well she might have been faking it. Why do you take his word for it that he could satisfy her when he can't satisfy you?
It is not illegal for him to use tools during foreplay and you two can even use a small one during intercourse to give you the stimulation you need. Frankly it sounds like the two of you need to get a bit of sex education going. There are small vibrators you can strap on, if that doesn't do it, nothing will.
If he doesn't want to feel useless in bed tell him to stop drinking and do more foreplay.
You are to easy on him.
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