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I don't want to feel jealousy and have trust issues about my g/f!

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *carlette-511 writes:

Im lesbian and have been with my girlfriend for nearly two years, prior to that we were best friends for four years and i can honestly say i've never been so happy. She's perfect, but im just so jelous and paranoid and i dont know why. I find myself checking her texts messages and trying to find out her password for facebook ect to check who shes talking to. Its pathetic. Im the first girl shes ever been and before me she had a fair few boyfriends, as soon as she mentions a boys name i feel physically sick. The daft thing is, deep down i know she hasn't and wouldn't cheat but my mind just gets the better of me all the time, i really am my own worst enemy. When we first started going out i was a complete pratt and i kissed two other people but that was then and im a totaly different person now. I honestly worship the ground she walks on and nobody else even comes close. Im just so scared i'll push her away because jelousy will take over. I cant carry on like this, i need to get over it. Any advice would be great, Thanks.

View related questions: best friend, facebook, jealous, lesbian, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010):

We all get jealous, trust me i know about jealously,yes it will push her away. but.. rememeber that noone is perfect, we all have faults, yr g/f does, we all do.

your g/f will get sick of you being too overprotective and always asking who this person is and who that person is, it will make her mad and she will realise eventually that u dont trust her, try to back off a little!

jealously is part of being human, but in r/ships all we can really do is to trust the other person.

Trust is so important, her boyfreinds were in the past, they were part of her life, she will mention them occasioanally.but.. if she is always talking about them i might tell her that htis can be a bit much at times, but be calm and dont get mad, only say it once! Maybe tell her at u love her, and only want to be with her, then see what she says, im sure she will say it back! Trust that she loves you, if a person really loves another then they wont cheat,cheating is usually a sign of problems with the r/ship. Just because she was with guys before doesnt mean that she will go and cheat on you with one! you said u cheated on her? yes that was in the past, now she trusts you, give her the same. thats all we can ever do, we cant control another actions, in the end its up to them.

hope this helped somehow, good luck

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A female reader, Emz105 United Kingdom +, writes (29 December 2009):

Maybe she is bisexual, if she mentions other men and it bothers you then you should tell her, if she loves you then she will be fine with it and will stop, but what would i know, i'm only 15 and have only just realised i am bi, if you have any advice on how to tell my parents of fiends it would be much appreciated

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