A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My best friend just started dating someone, and I'm so happy for her, the only thing is that a week before she was asked out from her boyfriend, she confessed that she loves me and asked me out. I sadly had to say no because I wasn't up for dating at the moment. Ever since she started dating we would drift apart. I've talked to her about it and she says that she only likes him but loves me. I've even talked to her about how I feel and how it hurts me and makes me jealous. I don't want to break them up, but I don't like how she says that she loves me but is with another person. I don't know what else to do and I have even tried to stop myself from my feelings of envy. Please, I need some serious advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (9 September 2015):
There are obviously a lot of issues here. She asks you out, then starts going out with a guy, so either she’s bisexual or (more likely at a young age) confused about her sexuality. Then there is the fact that you turned her down, but you’re now envious? Unfortunately you lost any right to be jealous when you turned her down. If you can’t live with it, you could tell her that you regret turning her down and would commit to dating her, so she can choose whether to take that up or continue to date her boyfriend. I expect that will forever change, and possibly damage your friendship if she doesn’t accept, so it’s a risk. You’d have to be certain that your current reasons for not dating no longer exist, otherwise this would be pointless. The other thing to do is resolve to live with your jealousy. Either forget about it and keep quiet, or if that’s too difficult keep your distance from her and spend more time with other friends.
I wish you all the very best.
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