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I don't want to be hurt because he's confused!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 September 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 September 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *tarispixie writes:

For the past few months I have been dating a guy that has been seperated from his wife for over a year. There is a part of me that has always been bothered by the fact that he is not "divorced". Everything is going fine and we talk and text everyday. For the past few days he seemed to be very distant with me. He texted a few times and said he wouldnt be able to call me because he was very busy. I hadnt heard much from him up until last night when he text me. The text stated that he had gotten into a pretty big fight with his Ex and that he needed to take a few days to think things over and figure some things out. I told him that I understood and would give him the time he needed. He also said that this didn't mean him and I were over, and that I would be in his thoughts. However as soon as we finished texting I was naturally very upset and ended up crying myself to sleep. My question is...Do I give him the time he needs to "figure things out" however long that may be? I feel like he is perhaps torn between reconciling with his wife but is also still stringing me along. I do like him very much and crying over the situation last night hurt me, I don't want to be hurt further on account of him being "confused".

View related questions: his ex, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think he is over his ex either, which unfortunately for you... makes you the rebound girl. The girl he will screw around with, hang out with when he can't be with the ex.

If he needs to ""figure" anything out in relationship to his ex... they are not done.

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2010):

Fairy_Lu agony auntI think this guy is not over his wife, maybe he jumped into a relationship to soon just to cope with what was happening and unfortunatly he has dragged you into this situation.

I think you need to give him time and space i know it is going to be hard but you can do it. At least some time a part will both give you a chance to figure out what you want out of this relationship.

You give him some time with no contact so he can really work out what he wants.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010):

give it some time!

its too soon to come up to a conclusion!

atleast a week time,then ask him direct- "which way?!"

if he stil demands u time, ask him how long he needs, he shud tell u fixed time,till then no contacts u wud make- fone,meet or text!

after the time is over,ask him...if he answers to be with u,ask him divorce his ex right away only then u wud continue!!

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