A
female
age
36-40,
*ewbie123
writes:So I am completely new to this but here it goes... I have been seeing a guy for a year and a half. Starting out we had an amazing relationship. We were both comming out of marriages... his 8 years mine 2. He left me and went back to his ex twice, said he had to make sure it was over for his kids (he has 2). So he did and that was about a year ago, he came back and said he couldn't do it. We got back together almost immediatly. Since then ( a year ago) he breaks up with me every couple of months. Then days later, literally days, comes back and says he knows where he went wrong and he is so sorry and will not leave again. When we are not breaking up we get along perfectly. We don't fight, we have great sex, enjoy the same things, a perfect relationship. But it always happens the same. My trust for him is little and then when I get upset about ANYTHING, even a little change in emotion, he starts on me like Im ending the world. Why are you upset?? You should be upset! Ect... Then that leads to an arguement. So the day before Christmas eve he broke up with me. 3 days later he wants me back proclaiming he knows what he did wrong and will change. I am so tired of going through this. I want to be with him but I do not know if it will ever end... If it would we would have an amazing relationship.. and if it doesn't I can't take anymore heartbreak... Help~! I have no idea if I should get back with him or not..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): It sounds to me as if he is not over his ex-wife and has a strong attachment to the family unit. He may love you, however he may not be ready to give you what you deserve and need from him. It's like he has one foot out of the door at all times..., huh?
His heart is someplace else. Give him breathing room. I promise you... if you stopped seeing him he'd probably reconcile with his wife. Maybe you should allow that to happen if you love him.
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 He breaks up so easily because he knows he can come and go when he pleases, because you allow him to do that. He needs to grow up a bit and take responsibility for the relationship. I'm thinking that he may be flitting from you to his ex during your break ups. His bond will lie with his ex and his children and that may grow as his children grow. You shouldnt have to keep fuelling his whims and he needs to stay when y ou row and sort it out, not run away , possibly into his ex's arms. Next time he goes, tell him to stay there.
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A
male
reader, lawyerbait +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Practice this line in front of a mirror before confronting him: "Adios, Amigo. You make me feel bad by leaving me over and again, so I am through with you. Have fun with your other conquests - I'm going to meet someone who gets me, who cares enough to treat me like an adult, and who doesn't need to keep relearning that I should be treated with respect."
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