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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Tomorrow night will be my bachelorette party and my fiance will be having his bachelor party. We are having two separate parties and I would like him to come home that night. He refuses. Our mutual friend who isn't going to his told me that there are going to be strippers and prostitutes at his "buddies" house at the end of the night. I don't like that idea one bit. What do I do? I am going home from mine ... and his buddies house in on the way home. I can easily pick him up ... so that way we can BOTH be home when HIS kids wake up in the morning.... what do I do? (he is in his late 30's and this is his 2nd marriage ..)
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 strippers is fine. prostitutes is not. you clearly do not trust him to decline the prostitutes. why marry him? if he is only in his 30s but has two marriages behind him already, do you know truly why his marriages ended??
i agree with you OP, i would not be happy with prostitutes being there with a load of drunken men all egging each other on and your fiancé being tempted to have 'one last fling'
x
A
female
reader, bunnyblueeyes +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Do you trust your fiance? Trust is very important in a relationship, especially if you plan on marrying. If you don't trust him then marriage isn't a good step to take. And if you do then why worry??? Strippers don't instantly equal cheating as for prostitutes are you sure your friend isn't exagerating?? Even then he doesn't have to do anything.
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A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 I've just read your post and the other Aunts/Uncles replies. I wholeheartedly agree with the others, this is not right and do you really want the insecurities and attitude he is showing you just day's before your wedding, for the rest of your life?
I second what RedAthena said. And heaven help him if you find the whole bag of 'party girls' there... And not coming home so you can babysit his children? F***-off Mate! Take care and I hope things work out and this all turns out to be a bad few day's of misunderstandings and he is just as sweet as you always thought he was afterall. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): Okay if it was strippers I be like, okay that sounds somewhat normal BUT prositiutes? that is not okay at all. I cannot believe you are even asking this question on here, this man you should not marry. He is even refusing to come home that night, why? well there going be an huge orgy and he wants be part of it.
Do you want to marry a man who cheat on you with prosisitute? what type of friends does he have too? eww
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): A mutual friend who isn't going to his told you there would be strippers and prostitutes? Have you checked this out with your soon to be husband?
I would be doing that first - IF it's true then react.
I dont see him not coming home as a problem on its own, alot of these do's now involve whole weekends away - I know men who have gone to Ibiza rented a villa for few days with a crowd of friends - so what. You could party all night too - tell him to find a sitter for his children!
If you dont trust him for one night,think he would even consider going with a prostitute, then you don't have a great future together.
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 I never understood this mentality by men and women. Yeah, I can understand a night at the bar, perhaps reminiscing about past loves or what not, but I never understood the need for strippers, who usually double as prostitutes if the money is right.
I do find it disrespectful and not very becoming for someone about to commit their life to someone else and its a pointless temptation that can only cause misery and pain.
There have been some people here who have questioned why you would marry someone who put their bachelor party ahead of pleasing you and I whole-heartedly agree with them. This is really the ultimate test of how you resolve problems. Days before you are marrying him, is he going to tell you to go to hell and have you stewing about this as you walk down the aisle or is he going to meet you half way and show you he can put you first in his life?
I think you need to explain to him that you don't feel its becoming of a man, and it is an insult to you. Its cheap, tacky and not classy and you don't want this transgression to mar your memory of what should be an otherwise beautiful time.
Remind him, that this will be a testament to his character in the man you have chosen. Hopefully he will do the right thing and honor you.
However, if he chooses to go through with this, then I think you have to do some fast thinking -- is this the man you really want to marry after all and do you trust him amidst temptations.
Congratulations and good luck.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 August 2011):
 Strippers..no big deal. Prostitutes...BIG DEAL.
Strippers, Prostitutes, and alcohol? DEALBREAKER.
DO you trust him? I would be upset that he refused to come home that night. He is in a committed relationship, what difference does the ring make or not?
Personally, I would find the address, show up with the ring and offer it back to him. Along with a suitcase of any of his things he left at his now FORMER home.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): I have a huge problem with bachelor parties too...I've already asked my fiance not to have one involving strippers. In my opinion there are 3 red flags here; 1) Why the hell are there going to be PROSTITUTES at his bachelor party..I mean strippers are usual and all, but prostitutes in SOMEONE'S HOME..that grounds for concern. 2)He refuses to come home that night...another wtf, why wouldn't he need to go home that night, it's called designated driver or taxi. Unless there are other concerns *hint hint* 3) It doesn't sound like you trust this guy anyways, which is why I have to ask...Why are you marrying this dude?
I don't mean to sound insensitive but from the way this looks...9/10 chances he'll most likely be cheating at his party. I'm sorry :(
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 In my personal opinion, if this is the kind of mindset he has, you should probably reconsider marrying him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): And you want to marry him. At least no one can say you didn't know what he was like before you married him. He has no respect for you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 August 2011):
 It's a bit late to be negotiating this now.
You told him you don't like it and want him to come home and he refused.... what does that say to you?
personally I think showing up and picking him up is too mother like
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