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I don't want a strained relationship with my cousins

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2017)
A female United States age 16-17, anonymous writes:

So, I want to say this to get it off my chest.

I used to be close to my cousins on my mom's side. I would hang out with them a lot at family reunions when I had the chance to. Laugh and enjoy the moment.

Now, they don't talk to me. They ignore me, (sometimes I'll get lucky and they will say hi, but rarely) and they never ask me if I want to hang out with them or go do something fun. I always feel that they don't love me because of the actions they display and wish I was never here/their cousin. They adore one of my siblings, and every time I see them have fun and laugh, like we used to do, I feel like hiding somewhere and crying because of how much they make me feel left out and unloved. I have anxiety and get nervous. I can't help it that I'm not a social butterfly. My parents just assume I'm being a jerk to them and need to put myself out there and be kind. I feel like my parents don't understand how much anxiety I get/have with people. Even one of my aunts avoid me because I look like I'm mad at/ with everyone, so she just stays out of my way.

What's wrong with having a straight face all the time?

I may not be the brightest, happiest person in the world, but I'm going through some personal things in my life right now that I feel they can never understand.

How can I show my cousins I'm not as bad as they think I am and have that close bond with them again and not act like we hate each other?

View related questions: cousin, unloved

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (23 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou cannot blame it all on them if you don't appear to be friendly or make an effort. Yes you may be going through a tough time at the moment, but a lot off girls your age are, teenage years can be hard! Take baby steps. Start making an effort to talk to them. Try rebuild the friendship. Try smiling more.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (17 June 2017):

Denizen agony auntWhy do you want to be close to your cousins? Why is it important to you? You may wonder what you have done wrong. But people are strange. It may not be anything you have done. Young people can be fickle and sometimes cruel to their peers. Try and develop friendships which don't involve them. They aren't the only people in the world.

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