A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months with a man I slept with twice and saw maybe once every two weeks.... while he was away on a holiday, I cheated on him with another guy who I just met but who was a friend of our friends.... I spent twelve nights in this guys house. The relationship with the guy I cheated on wasn't really much, it didn't feel like a relationship and he was messing me around, I didn't feel loved, but we remain friends.The guy I cheated on my ex with, for the 12 days, told me he was crazy about me and he and I began to go out, he is my current boyfriend of two months, however last week and this week I have noticed a huge change in him.We had a really kinky romantic evening planned last week that didn't go according to plan, it was just routine, regular sex... and since that night it's like he realised I'm boring or something.... that its too much like a relationship or something... but he stopped telling me he loves me or doing nice things, and has completely lost interest in sex with me where as before he couldn't keep his hands off me...I don't understand why he has lost interest, I haven't done anything wrong...for the past 2 months he's either stayed in my place or I have stayed in his (we both live at home with parents)where as before we would sty in his own apartment. I just want him to be interested in me again, and I want to get your suggestions as to why he has lost interest in me... he barely texts me now.. where as last week it was every 5 seconds he'd text me... sometimes really sexy messages or something really sweet and thoughtful, now he is disinterested.... please helpI thought I was happy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): If you are with someone, even for a short time, and you cheat then the person you cheat with will always be a person you had sex with rather than someone you grow to like / love. If you have sex with someone who just wants sex then you can't really complain when they move on to have sex with someone else in the same way you started with him. I understand you felt happy and felt wanted but getting a text every few minutes or seconds is not an indication of true feelings. It is more likely to be an indication of someone who is determind to persue and bombard until they get what they want.. for as long as they want it. Sleeping with 'friends' is ok if everyone is ok with it. Quite often this scenario provides a good deal of heartache in the end. You sound like you have strong needs but you sound also like someone who needs to be alone for a while and to take things slowly. Try dating for few months without having sex. Shock! Yes a few months.. This way you will discover if you really like this person - and if the guy likes you. They won't bother hanging around if they only want sex. Try to become more discerning. Try to work out who wants you for you. Also try to work out what you want. If you want a conquest and sex only - fine. If you want more you'd be advised to consider your actions. Some things comes back and bite in the end.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): Well probably because he now thinks your easy or something, also he probably will find it hard to trust you because he knows your a cheat!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 July 2010):
It's because you cheated. You were used by him. That's what happened. He saw that you weren't happy with your boyfriend, so he managed to convince you to cheat. You did. So he had some fun with you for a few months, then suddenly had enough. This is for one of three reasons.
A - Because you were willing to cheat, which means that you are untrustworthy. After all, what's to stop you cheating on him? Nothing really. You may well meet someone else
B - Originally he saw you as a thrill because you were with another guy, and proved a challenge. That challenge isn't there anymore, so he's bored and has moved on.
C - He's cheating on you.
The point is, you can't trust a cheat. But you can't trust someone who is willing to persuade someone to cheat either. Let him go, spend some time on yourself and next time find a guy who isn't so up for sex straight away and isn't a cheat. And don't cheat again, either. This is the effect it can have.
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