A
male
age
30-35,
*ameronRC
writes:So, I'm in love with a girl I live with. We are close friends, however we act in a way that is very "coupley". every evening she wants to lay on the sofa cuddling which usually leads to us messing around. I'll move away and she'll come to me usually instigating the sexual and affectionate things. It's killing me because I can't say no to her, usually in this position id cut her out of my life and crack on but we have the same friendship group and of course live together. I can't help but feel she is using me to fill her needs until someone better comes along. I'm so in love with this girl and its destroying me how I look into everything and I think she knows how I feel(a few months back had same situation I told her o liked her so it should stop, as she has no intention of taking it further, which lasted a month or so) yet night after night she'll be holding my hand stroking me and snuggling up. Im 23 and without sounding arrogant I'm good with other women and "the game". I love her so much I just want it to all end. She acts as if unaware of her actions when briefly brought up. Or teases me saying "I fancy her and she can fuck me whenever she wants etx" our relationship is very "banterful". Living with her and seeing her every day is truly breaking my heart. What do I do to get over her....I can't move out or change all my friends. I don't think she'd ever admit to having feelings for me even if she did. Help me guys, desperate. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): LOL! Honestly,I like the other anon's suggestion tons!
It's a genius idea-if she acts all jealous around another girl you bring home,you can tell her that she has no right to as she is not your gf.
If she doesn't-you know she doesn't like you/care.
Either way,it's a brilliant way to suss it out as sometimes what we say is not what we mean... And sometimes it just takes you a bit longer to realise what you truly want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2015): Look for another place to live. Your feelings will not allow you to behave yourself like a roommate; and she will continue to use your "maleness" against you. Your feelings are no secret. Don't insult our intelligence by saying she isn't aware. Unless you take her for really dumb. You are in the friend-zone, and used like some women use gay men.
Some use older-men as sugar daddies, and career-boosters.
I've corrected many of my single straight lady-friends about using their gay male friends for party chaperones, human accessories, make-believe boyfriends, and emotional crutches until they found a real boyfriend; and ditched them when they no longer have a use for them.
These guys get seriously attached, and even though they're not sexually-attracted; they are men(or boys).
By nature, we (gay males) are like any other male.
Naturally wired to females in emotional ways. They may actually go through the same painful emotions as a breakup. I've never allowed myself to be used by anyone; but I have been a stand-in mock-husband for them, or protected them from maniacs that abused or used them.
You are allowing her to take advantage of your sexuality.
She will, in-fact, dump you when another man comes along; but she isn't allowing herself to be denied sex and affection. You fulfill her needs, but only as a pacifier.
You've been given advice to ask her to give you a chance.
It should be obvious she likes things as they are; so she can simply pull away when the right guy comes along. You're a special friend with benefits; but you do not appeal to her in the way you want to. You're in effect, a boy-toy. A full-functioning multi-purpose dildo. If you enjoy being used that way, and your penis does all your thinking. Stop complaining, and just play along with it. Until she decides to dump you for a boyfriend. Or, put you in the back of the drawer; until you're needed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): I'd bring a date home in front of her. Lol. Don't sleep with the girl or make it serious. See what she says to you and take it from there.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (26 August 2015):
 I'd tell her that if she wants something serious with you, you are up for it, but you aren't looking for a FWB/casual hook-up partner.
If she isn't interested in you THAT way then EVERY TIME she tries to snuggle etc. you tell her no thanks. SOMEONE has to be the one to have SOME sort of boundaries here.
You can stay friends and room-mates but I would sort out what "you are to each other" and go from there.
Or you can keep doing this and waste your time on a person who sees you as nothing more then a friendly F-boy.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (26 August 2015):
You are going to have to .. wean yourself of her . Very much like a baby with its bottle. You don't have to be doing coupley things so back off. Go to your room.. say you want some you time . Those other friends you mention .. go to theirs or go out get a hobby .. you are breaking your own heart as you know for her this is all just am ego game and still you let her do it ..
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