A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 10 years and have come to the realization that me and my wife have grown so much in different directions and that i don't love her anymore. i knew some of the things i didn't like at the beginning but had the faith that we could grow in the same direction as persons. I'm more of a goal oriented guy and she is more a easy goer, and it is a part we both do not wanna change. Now we have a 5 year daughter and i feel so bad to have to let her live the divorce parents live.Any suggestions ?
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female
reader, vickieleigh  +, writes (23 January 2011):
I actually looked up "I don't love my wife anymore" to get some suggestions for my husband. I know he don't love me, I am tired of being in a relationship by myself, He wants no part of it other than sex. I wish he would just tell me he don't love me anymore, so I could get over him. To add to your question, I think if you stay in a relationship that is miserable, you end up hating eachother, and resent eachother, and then you can never do whats best for the child. So, my advice to you, talk to her, tell her exactly how you feel, and if you both want to make the marriage work, then it can.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): I know I'm going to get flamed for this... but don't get a divorce. Sadly women have manipulated our political system to the point of insanity. she will get everything, and then some. For the last 30 thousand years men have been giving orders and leading the home. It is our very nature to behave the way that women hate. And its only because we have allowed them to be our equals that all the issues have popped up. Yes I belive you should love them treat them with kindness but they need to remember their place and ask permission instead of giving orders. If everyone knew their place life would be so much better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): just tell the kid he / she wont understand at first but you have a life to live go for it you are young and if you dont do it now you will ruin your own life
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Don't divorce.
Divorce has made marriage meaningless.
me and my wife have grown so much in different directions
So what. That doesn't mean anything. People can love those who are different than them. If you think "it will be better with the next one" you are deceiving yourself. Read the statistics - second marriages fare worse than first marriages, and if you make it to three marriages, you might as well not bother. Strap your balls back on, learn to love your wife, and quit being such a pussy.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 You're welcome! I'm only reflecting what your inner voice is telling you. Keep listening to it, and if you are having trouble, observe your daughter. Kids are born with the ability to listen to that inner voice. The lucky ones grow up never forgetting to listen. The luckiest ones had parents to supply a good moral compass to go with that inner voice.
My parents divorced when my brother was about your girl's age. He suffered greatly as a result, so I also know a bit about the havoc divorce can wreak on a child.
I wish you the best. Good luck and take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey Wild Thaing ,I have a feeling you really really understand me and I really appreciate your suggestions. I had to live the divorce parents life myself and I don't wanna put my child through that. Like you wrote I realize that the guilt part is indeed my guide so I'll take your suggestions and work on that part to be at ease with any decisions I take for the future.Thanks a lot !!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks eyeswideopen,never tought about the counseling possibility. I'll take it in consederation before any further steps.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (23 July 2007):
For the sake of your little girl, ensure that the choices you make continue to provide a loving and stable environment for her. She didn't bring any of this upon herself, so try to minimize her suffering. If you and your wife can find some way to willingly keep it together, then all the better for your daughter. If there was ever a reason for you and your wife to work hard at your marriage, your little girl is it.
It's going to be a delicate balance between your own needs and that of your family. But whatever you do, don't let guilt become your guide. It's a horrible emotion to use as a moral compass. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 July 2007):
 If you think your marriage is truly over and that counseling won't help (of course you could give it a try) then divorce your wife. Your daughter will ultimately be happier having two happy parents living apart than two unhappy parents together. Just make sure she gets reassured that the divorce had nothing to do with her, it is just between Mom and Dad and that the love both of you have for her is still the same.
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