A
female
age
51-59,
*ooter
writes:I have been with my partner for about 8 years. We have a son together who is 7 years old and I also have a 18 year old son by a previous marriage who lives with us.My partner is a functioning alcoholic. He drinks daily, starting ususally just before noon and drinks all day. He hangs out in the garage, working on projects constantly, but I know that the reason he stays in there all day is that there is no one to moniter his beer consumption. He hides cases of beer in the doghouse, the garage, his truck, they are everywhere but in the fridge or in the open.He works hard and loves our son very much. But last night he wanted to take our son somewhere in my vehicle, and I refused to let him as he was impaired. He got really angry with me and started attacking me as a mother, saying things about how I haven't been there enough for my 18 year old.I realize that I have been enabling him, and I don't want things like this any longer. We are barely scraping by financially, so instead of leaving, I have stayed and tried to work on myself. I have expressed that his drinking is a problem for me, I have done this in every way, talking it out calmly, and getting angry and screaming.It's frustrating to have my concerns minimized by him. I have fallen out of love with him over the years and now there is nothing in me that wants to work this out. I feel like I am sabotaging any attempt to find real love, yet I don't want to lose everything I have worked so hard for and hurt my son.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 February 2009):
Alcoholics often have to hit rock bottom before they will accept that they have done anything wrong.
Rock bottom for him could be when you leave him, it could be when he loses the house, it could be when he finds himself drinking anti-freeze. THEN he will suddenly see how long it's been going on and the harm he has caused.
You do not have to be there waiting for it to get that bad. It's never great for your little boy to grow up and see that Daddies drink that much and act that way.
If you can't take it any more then look into how you can live without him. Would it be best for you to just move out and get your own place? Would it be best to chuck your husband out and keep the place you have now? If you own the house, can you sell up and take your half / third / whatever you own.
Think practically about how you and your 2 boys could make it away from this guy, and then go!
Good Luck!! xx
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