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I don't know if she will come back or has moved on.

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2018) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2018)
A male India age 26-29, *unny9199 writes:

Can anyone please help me what I did wrong or is it she is being self centered?

Well this cancer girl, she is my friend and its been 2 years for our friendship. Months ago I confronted her about why she was being mean with this another girl in our group. (I actually came to know lately that these two girls are not in touch since 7 months, also got to know that she thinks me and this girl are in relationship and I was damn shock and so I confronted her). After confronting her, first answer she gave was she had some trust issues with her but after begging her to open up in detail she told the events that made her felt we both were in relationship and we were hiding it from her. So I decided to tell her everything because we dont want to loose her. I told her that "yes she was right about the lies that girl was telling and that was for certain reason. Even I was involved in this. But we are not in relationship at all just close friends like u and others"

Then I asked her to come back in our life. We want us all to be together as before. Just because she left none of us are meeting each other. She argued alot that she didn't want to open up but so I again forced her to speak up about what is that making her to be so stubborn Nd doesnt feel like comming back to us. And finally she spoke, that she had feelings for me she loves me. Well yes I already doubted that she had feelings for me, I respected her feelings and told her that I had only seen all of us as good friends. I told her that I dont want her to leave or atlest me. I even made her understand that this might hurt her now but I m there for her always. Slowly she told everything that because of this emotional burden she had and feelings for me she didnt want to be with us and later she told that she already knew the answer. I felt sorry for her. I thought now everything will be sorted she had her burden lowered and she will be back. Next day I was bit awkward and was sorry to see her sad I assumed she will be in awkward and sad too. But to my surprise she was all cool and behaving normal as usual. Worst thing, nothing changed in her even after confessing her feelings she is still that way. Now its been one month over and I feel she dont want to be with us at all. But at the same time she wrote me a big message telling "dont judge on my outer behaviour I care for u alot, if u ever feel stressed or sad about anything please speak up" i was happy when she said that but whenever I see her in front she is very different person. I dont know if she wants to get back to us or she had moved on?

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A male reader, Code Warrior United States + , writes (16 December 2018):

Code Warrior agony auntMy experience has been that once a person expresses feelings not shared by the one they love, the relationship ends. Inevitably, there are awkward feelings after the admission. In my life I've expressed feelings to girls many times that they didn't share, and while I was willing to deal with it, the other person wasn't. I've also had girls express feelings for me many times that I didn't share, and while I was willing to respect their feelings, the girls felt awkward and rejected and didn't want to continue the friendship.

It's pretty rare to have both people willing to continue with a friendship when one expresses feelings not shared by the other. In my opinion, she has moved on because she tried to play it cool, but found out she couldn't control her feelings, so she feels she has no other choice but to move on.

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