A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i split up about a week and im finding it so hard. all i seem to be doing is crying and if im not crying im thinking there is still a chance. we have split in the past and have got back together but dont see how we can this time, but we are still in contact. he always use to phone me on his way to work, on his way home, on his way to the gym and home and texts when hes in bed. he is still phoning me on his way to work and back but then nothing. hes still texting me saying he love me and still calling me our pet names, but when i bring up us and if there is a chance or if we should be acting like this he just stops texting or if we on the phone says he has to go. due to this i cant confines myself its over i keep thinking there is still a chance. i texted him today telling him i cant stand feeling like this as iv confined myself we are still together and that i wait round for his phone calls and texts when i shouldnt be and if there is still a chance for us please let me know because if there isnt i need to start faceing reality, but he hasnt texted me back. i dont know what to think should i just face its over and try and realise there is no hope for us, or should i keep contact with him and hope he changes his mind or is he just leading me on wanting me to act like this? i dont know what to think or do please help ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (12 May 2011):
HI! There are two sides to this story. One is, as aunt honesty says, the cut the contact side. However, sometimes couples DO get back together and perhaps he is going through something (you are (both?) young) and maybe it will work out down the road. So, what should you do?
Just stay in touch with your feelings. I'm glad you told him you can't stand this, etc. Every time you make contact, say something real. He will come to see that you stand for something and ARE somebody, especially someone with feelings.
Are you in any sense relieved that he's backing off? Seize this opportunity for self growth.
Think about what you do and don't like about him. Be absolutely honest with yourself.
If you absolutely cannot bear cutting off all contact, just minimize it, and respect his feelings. Hopefully he will come to respect and understand yours, too.
Love,
Manya
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Stop the contact completely. He is not giving you a straight answer and everytime you ask him he ignores the subject completely. This is not a good sign and its not fair of him when he knows that you are still wanting him back. It is time that you faced reality that the relationship is over and cut all contact to give your heart some time to heal. Next time he calls you. Tell him you are sorry but you dont want him to ring you again as you need space to get over him. Stick to this arangement and see how you feel then. The end of the relationship is hard but just keep yourself busy and occupied and you will feel better in time.
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