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I don't know if I like him or like the idea of being in a relationship

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I am finally dating a guy I liked for so long. I feel great being around him but lately I've been doubting if I'm attracted to him. He's gorgeous and am attracted to him but I'm just doubting little things like I didn't like the way he puckered his lips, it looked girly or I didn't like the way he was walking, his boxers turned me off, I wasn't in the mood for sex. I think he's amazing and we enjoy spending time together. We're taking it slow. He was hard to get but I got him and now he's staring into my eyes and I can't look back at them. I do have commitment issues and I have a hard time knowing how I'm feeling but good at picking on things and I'm afraid it won't be as blissful as I thought it would be in my mind. I am starting to look back at his eyes but I'm just still not ready to fully commit to him. Will this pass? Will I commit? I want to be happy but I'm feeling like something is holding me back from being happy. It's like my annoying brain just wants to pick at things. I just don't want to lose him because he's so good to me and I want to give him everything. I just don't know if that's because it's the idea of being in a relationship or that I truly like him. I'm certain I don't love him, and I'm afraid I never will although I want to because I haven't met anyone like him before. It's like we connect.

View related questions: in the mood, want to be happy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014):

Accepting is not settling.

No one will be perfect. But stick with it, and you'll know you like him - eventually love him - when you look at his puckered lips and think 'yeah they're odd, but sort of cute' or when you think 'yeah his boxers are odd, but its only what he wears, that doesn't matter'.

Go with the flow, and if its mean to be in time you'll grow to like him, and suddenly all the small things fade away - the pros will outweigh the cons.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014):

How do you do that? How do you accept? Should I accept or is that settling?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (27 November 2014):

janniepeg agony auntIt's the opposite. You don't like the idea of being in a relationship but you like him. You like what you can't have so now you have him the chase is gone. Being in a relationship requires appreciating what you've got, warts and all.

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