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I don't know how to handle the situation with this guy

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 December 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello,

So I have been seeing someone for past couple of weeks and every time we are together things are fine. We have had intercourse, we're the same age. He has a son and so I understand he needs time to be with his son and I give him that space. He's also dealing with ADHD, his broken relationship with the mother of his child and losing his father to cancer. I've dealt with infidelity that happened about a month ago with my last relationship. He knows about my past and I know his, so he calls me whenever he has time or is bored. I answer we talk but he ends the conversation by hanging up abruptly, without warning. One minute everything is fine, the next I hear silence. I feel that I'm the one that's at fault but we don't argue. He asks how I'm doing, I say "I'm doing fine", his response is "well I'm glad your doing good" then I just respond "thank you" and that's when I notice that he has hung up. This has happened twice now. I don't know if what I'm saying is wrong, have a wrong tone when I speak or if this is a sign that he's not into me anymore/doesn't want to talk anymore. I did send him texts like 'hey if you don't want to talk or have anything with me, that's fine but if you need someone to talk to I'm here.' or 'If this was something to get out your system that's fine, I understand you're not the 1st nor the last person to use me.' I feel very abandoned, especially after my last relationship. I get the feeling of abandonment and distance all of sudden. The last time he did this, he apologized but didn't say much after that. All I said was that it's ok but if he doesn't want to talk to me to just let me know but he insists that it's not me. But when he does this all of a sudden, I can't help but to think it is my fault. I don't know how to handle this situation.

View related questions: infidelity, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (3 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI don't think either off you are ready to date am afraid. I think you should end it and concentrate on yourself. You have had a rough time so be single for a while and learn to be independent.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (27 December 2016):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI think you need to take a break from dating (given the way your previous relationship ended) and find your equilibrium before starting to date again.

This guy obviously has more issues than most (ADHD, a child, a recent break up) and the two of you are probably just clinging to straws to save working through the pain of your break ups.

Wish him well, tell him you have realized you need to work through your own issues before dating again, and start the new year afresh.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2016):

He doesn't look like he's a a frame of mind to be in a romantic relationship since he's dealing with a lot. I'd just wish him well and move on.

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