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I don't have the heart to leave this relationship, but I don't want to waste my time either.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 June 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for five years now, both recently graduated from college, and we're living our lives in the "real world" with full-time careers. Marriage is something that we both don't want until we're in our mid/late-twenties. However, I have told him that in two years (we'll both be 25/26), I'd like to know whether he thinks we're ready to commit.

Like any relationship, we've reached that point where we're comfortable with each other, but I worry that we're at the point of complacency. With our busy schedules, we sometimes only see each other once a week, even though we live ten minutes away. Most of our time spent communicating happens over the phone. I feel like I'm not always being heard, and when that happens, I complain that I don't feel like I'm receiving the same attention that I give him. He chalks it up to, "oh, this only happens on the phone," but there have been times when I felt ignored when we're together face-to-face. It gets disheartening, and I wonder, am I wasting my time?

To make things more complicated, I had recently been in contact with this guy I met. I told this new guy that I had a boyfriend, but that we could be friends. I never spent time with him, but we had texted each other back and forth. My boyfriend was always aware of our conversations and I would show him the conversation history. I've since cut ties with this new guy since it became clear that he didn't want to pursue a friendship, but rather a relationship. However, I've wondered what it's like to live the single life, especially since I got together with my boyfriend right after high school, and since have never really just dated.

I guess you could say I'm bored in this relationship, wondering where it's really headed, and I'm looking for the attention I don't feel like receiving from my boyfriend elsewhere.

Can I get some opinions? I don't have the heart to leave this relationship, but I don't want to waste my time either.

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A female reader, a_maldita Philippines +, writes (27 June 2011):

a_maldita agony auntYup definitely agree with Luv Lost there.... Im at my 20's as well and very busy with work. My bf only see me once in 2 weeks since last year. Early this year he started telling me you look ugly and not yourself lately... I didn't mind at first but things went out of hand and he started making fun of how I look. I hate hearing it so I made my self as pretty and as sexy as I can. Make almost all guy friends notice that I've change and I started to have life of my own... But still my bf hates me because now I'm too good for him... I don't understand men and probably we won't ever we just need to live with it I guess... Look as good as you can and I'm sure he will pay much attention to you again!!!

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A female reader, Luv Lost United States +, writes (26 June 2011):

Funny how women will post things of this nature but a male wont, Im inthe samesituation except we lived together for 2.5 years. Now after college I gt a great job and had to move for 9 mnths. My contract up and were movingback in 2gther in on week.

I wonder If Im wasting my time tooo.He says Im the one for him and were gona get married when things get right as far as money...mmmm (All he does is act like trash sometims like he doesnt have a degree...anyway)

I cant help but feel im wasting my time and this long distance crap has taught me that I can live apart from him and I dont really need him. He is a horrible phone boyfriend and when we do talk I complain. I luv him but When your fed up you WILL KNOW AN YOU WILL LEAV

Id say start to focus on your self. You should never run after a man but make them run after you. Have a guy ufriend or two. u Dont have to become intimate but seeing other traits in men can help you see what your bf does or doesnt have to offer. Not to mention your confidence will become apparent to your bf and he will wonder y you are up his butt anymore...and maaaybe otherz are trying to pursue you thus HE WILL GET HIS ACT TOGETHER. If not then leave him and you and the new guy can chat it up.

Women rule the man despite a man was the first person to roam the earth so they come a dime a dozen. But a women is a special light giving being and once your light is out of his life he will be searching for it and doing anyting to get it back

So look fine everyday. Dont let him see you hurt and get someonez elses attention! Become busy when he calls because you really are. If its gurl nite out dates or guys dates. If he wants to see u he will drive ten mins away or at least have a entertaining convo. That boy will see he will have to step it up or get lost!

Tip: do these things if you really want to. Dont fake dates if you dont have one. But if your cooking and its difficult to talk then say so-dont put yourself on the back burner for him. be yourself with a sexy confident boost and speak your mind. He WILL bite y because hes a man=a thinker with the wrong head! SO GT THAT CONFIDENT SEX APPEAL FLOWING

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