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I don't have any additional time to give my Gf and I feel that she's eventually going to find someone who does have more time. What should I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

I'm a law student, which takes up a ton of my time.

I also have a weekend bartending job to pay my bills, and a gf.

So needless to say, I'm painfully busy and don't have a lot of free time.

My Gf and I were together for 7 months up until may, when she broke up with me because she met somebody else who could give her more time. I was really hurt because I did the best I could and she promised me that she understood how busy I was and fully supported me.

I still made time for her and spent a good bit with her, probably taking away from my studies, but apparently it still wasn't enough. She left anyway.

Well a couple months later, she came back saying it was a mistake and wanted to work things out. I eventually agreed to try, but told her the same issues would still be there.

And that she would have to learn to be okay with it or we would never work.

She assured it wasn't a problem and she could deal with it and fully supported me.

Well, here we are a few months back into it, and she hasn't said she has a problem with things, but I feel it.

I know I don't have enough time for her to make her happy. She requires a lot of attention and she admits to this. I can only spend a couple nights a week with her and I know that's not enough for her.

I feel it in my heart that she's just going to wind up either meeting someone else again or just be totally unhappy.

And I don't want that.

I'm a very secure person, but I feel it that she's not happy. And I don't have a choice. I'm helpless in the matter. I literally just don't have any more time to give.

Why should I do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 September 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'm sorry it turned out that way for you, but I supposed you can call it a blessing in disguise.

If she started to date someone a day after the break up? I too would presume that she already knew him in one capacity or another.

My advice, don't get mad over it, be glad. Rather this happen now than after an engagement or marriage.

Good luck with your studies!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Boy do I feel like I made the right decision. I split with her two days after this post, and within literally ONE day, she began seeing someone else. So I feel pretty confident I made the right choice! She was most likely cheating, like I was worried about. Or if she wasn't, and she really did just happen to rush out and find someone else within two seconds, she obviously had no loyalty to me whatsoever. So I feel really good about my decision. Thanks for all your answers and great advice!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015):

I think it would be best to let her go.

Your education is a passport to success for the future and if she still does not understand that and does not try her best to support what you are doing, then let her go..

What you are trying to achieve in the end could benefit the both of you but sadly she cannot see the end goal of the sacrifices.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015):

If law is what you truly want to do and you are happy doing it then she should be proud of having such a hard working GF. She could be dating some who goes out drinking all the time without her.

I used to be a little resentful and demanding of my extremely busy BF. Until I found something to interest me and keep me busy!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 September 2015):

Honeypie agony auntFocus on your studies. I have to say if she can't handle how busy you are now, she is deluding herself into thinking that once your studies are over you will have a lot more time. You won't. (if you go into law)

So you can grab the bull by the horns and talk to her and if she really isn't happy with the time you DO give her, let her go. Your education should take priority over a partner, because that is working towards your living your goals.

Sometimes relationships can work even when the people in it can't spend as much time together as they want, other times it doesn't.

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