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I don't get his on-off attitude

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2017)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been dating a guy for 1 and a half years. He asked for space. He asked for space and then said sorry the next day, and again stopped contact with me for a week. Suddenly he texted me again when he needed me and now again has cut off contact for 2 days. I am not able to understand him. I would love some advice.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHe doesn't know what he wants and he is playing games with you. You deserve to be treated better than this, next time you guys are 'on' tell him YOU want a break and don't contact him again.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (22 June 2017):

judgedick agony aunthe is playing games to get into your head , he is not worth your time , find a guy that respects you and does not play games to push you away so you drop your grade and find yourself having sex with him because of it , there are boys that play games and guys that don't gt a guy that wants to be around you ,

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A male reader, Phil052 United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2017):

Phil052 agony auntNext time he comes calling, play him at his own game, and say you have already made arrangements. See how he likes a taste of his own medicine. Sometimes people just need showing that a relationship is a two way thing!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think he likes you at his beck and call. That HE gets to set the tone, the tempo, the rules of the relationship. He is the "leader" and you the "follower".

Has he given ANY excuses for these disappearances? That made sense? Like an exam he has to study for, a sick family member, an out of town wedding, vacation?

If not... Are you OK with dating someone who seems to think he can put you up on the shelf and ignore you every now and then like a little toy, and expect that you just sit around and wait for him to come pick you up?

Is this a new thing? Or has it been going on the entire 1 1/2?

If it is a new thing I think NEXT time he contacts you, you bring it up. In the mean time... decide if this is something you are OK with or not. If not... LET him know and If he does it again, wish him good luck in life and block him.

While I do think it's healthy for people in a relationship to not be glued to each other's hips, I don't get people who need "breaks" from a partner. Either people are a couple or they are not. If things get too intense, they need to speak up and slow down, not ignore each other.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2017):

It sounds like he is not that into you.

Some girls like having a man who plays hard to get but considering you wrote to Dear Cupid, I'm assuming you're not one who wants that type of man, right?

I think you deserve a man who is loving, kind and confides in you, not just when it suits him. That is what relationships are about. And it's important you are both there for each other.

Is he the kind of guy who would cheat? That's the explanation I can think of as to why he is acting distant. Either that, or he has a lot going on in his life and is pushing the people close to him away.

It sounds like it might be time for you to move on. You deserve more.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2017):

Denizen agony auntHe either doesn't care or he is playing it cool - too cool. Your answer, play it cool too. If you chase him you will look ridiculous and he will have you twisted around his little finger.

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