A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there everyone, I have asked a couple of questions on here before and the advice has been great, so thank you. Unfortunately, I now need advice again as I am stuck as to where to go in my relationship with my boyfriend of two years. We are only young still, and he is turning 18 in just over a week. I will be honest and say I am concerned about this, and I am dreading it, in fact. All he seems to care about is going out partying, clubbing and drinking, which I suppose is normal for someone turning 18. But anyway, I am not really into that sort of scene and prefer to stay away from it, not that he would invite me to go out with him anyway. So I guess I am a bit concerned as to what's going to happen to our relationship with this change... I mean, I trust him and that, but its something that I'm not really comfortable with and its weighing on my mind, like what if something does happen.And just as an aside, I don't have Facebook, but he does, and obviously, with that side of his life and his friends, its as if I don't exist. That's probably the worst thing, because he acts as though he's single when he's on Facebook and when he's with his friends, yet with me, he's the best boyfriend I could ask for. I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling not very important in his life right now and I feel as though he has other desires and priorities right now, and maybe our relationship isn't meant to continue, because I don't know if I am going to be able to handle him going out all the time and having basically a whole other life where I don't exist... and that worries me to be honest.Thanks so much to anyone that responds, I really appreciate any advice as I'm not in a very good state of mind at the moment and could use some outside opinions. (:
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): I've been through this, except i was in his position you could say. It's hard when it gets to that point where you become an "adult", some people change more radically while others change in less obvious ways. High school relationships usually end during or at the beginning of uni/ college because either one person is changing or both.
In the end its really about whether you can accept his change? The fact that you are bringing this up means it's getting under your skin and its totally understandable. But it's unlikely he will stop his social life for you - and he shouldn't. No one should stop their lives to suit another. My advice is if you 'love him' then you should just accept the fact that he's changing but deep down he's still that guy you fell for. But if you can't stand it then just let him go, you'll end up together if it's meant to be.
To be honest, he may or he may not cheat. It's not uncommon, but it's not guaranteed. Only you know him on that level, and it seems you don't trust him that much. Instead of disliking him going out more and more and only coming to you for emotional support etc why don't you go out and have a life too? Nothing is more attractive than a girl who doesn't sit around being insecure, he'll come running back to you when he realises his partying may have given you away =)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): Unfortunately, you may have to accept that he's changing and you perhaps don't like how he is changing or who/what he is changing in to. If you really do like him then by all means do continue to "be more fun and enjoy his lifestyle with him", but if it isn't working out then you may have to consider 'cutting your loses'.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): OP here. Thanks eyeswideshut, I am trying to be more fun and enjoy his lifestyle with him, so I am trying. I don't have Facebook as a personal choice, I just dont feel a need to have it and don't particularly want it...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Why don't you go with him occasionally? That way you can get to know his friends and not feel so out of the loop? You mentioned that he wouldn't invite you but I would insist on it. You don't have to go every time but just occasionally. And just curious, why don't you have a Facebook account, it's free and thought everyone on the planet had one?
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