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I do love him a lot but am I a mug?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *londie1988 writes:

This is a long story lol..

Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years ( 6 Month break between) we have a 2 yr old daughter also.

Anyways at first he was perfect but after aa while of him smoking drugs I ended with him an found someone knew ( which broke his heart) after a while we got back together an I had our daughter an times just changed he is sometimes very nasty calling me names saying I'm ugly ect. Once we had a big heart to heart an he admitted he hated the way I.left him before and it damaged him. Which it did. I mean I'm not perfect far from it I have hurt him an prob brought this on myself.

But honestly he does nothing but lie over silly things mainly but last Friday he went out clubbing after work then totally lied about it. I no when he's lying so after he knew I knew he confessed. but why lie? I'm very ready going..

I spent a hour cleaning his heart( chalky ) shoes when asking him how they ended up like it he was like I dunno lol but there's no chalk from the club to his..

Then he spent our daughters Christmas present money going out which broke my heart..

Loads of things.I mean take new yrs eve he doesn't no if he wants to spend it with me me he wants to c what his mates doing.

I do love him a lot but am I a mug? I don't think he wud cheat as the last time a girl text him and I found it well lets just say he learned the hard why lol..

Not sure what to do.

View related questions: christmas, clubbing, drugs, got back together, money, text

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A female reader, Pixiebreath76 United States +, writes (31 March 2015):

Pixiebreath76 agony auntHa! YOU damaged HIM?!?!?! More like he was already damaged, and damaged you in the process!!! Get yourself and your daughter away from that pig!!! She doesn't need him either if he is taking things away from her!!

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (1 December 2010):

QuirkLady agony auntYou can be strong, it just takes a lot of daily practice. I suggest a daily affirmation that you can repeat whenever you are feeling down. Something like, "I am strong, and I deserve to be happy every day of my life." Because you are strong, even though you don't feel strong right now, and you do deserve to be happy every day of your life.

You can break this habit. We believe in you.

Please keep us updated, and good luck!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (1 December 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt A mug ?... Let me put it this way - years ago ,for work reasons, I interviewed a bunch of people who had just served 10 years jail sentences. About how they were coping with every day life after being locked up for so long, the challenges they met etc.

That wasn't of course the nicest people you could met, and were not overly concerned about morals. Many of them relied often for their survival and daily pleasures upon money they would beg,steal, extort or take with violence from their spouse, partner, siblings or friends. None of them, -none- would touch a penny belonging to their kids.

That says a lot,IMO, about the kind of guy you chose to be with. And says - or screams - dump him ! Right now !

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A female reader, blondie1988 United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2010):

blondie1988 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I guess I already knew what I should do.. Just finding the strength to do it. I've lived like this for a long time. Its become a habit now I think.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (1 December 2010):

QuirkLady agony auntIf a guy spent my daughter's Christmas money on going out I would freaking go HULK SMASH on him.

He is a loser. Dump him. If he is still mad about your breakup he shouldn't be taking it out on your child!

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (1 December 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntYou end this. He is not healthy for you in any way, constantly feeding you lies and greedily taking what he wants. Taking Christmas money meant for your daughter would have and SHOULD have been enough. You have clearly spent a lot of effort, trying to save this relationship but you have to face the fact that it is not going anywhere. He is only going to hurt you and keep hurting you.

I hope that helps.

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