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I didn't trust him and it has affected our relationship

Tagged as: Cheating, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ngel delight writes:

I need some advice....

I have been with my partner for just over 1 year but we have known each other for about 3. Generally we get on really well. We both work shifts and sometimes don't see each other for a week at a time. He is 10 years older then me and has been married twice and has 2 kids. I have never been married but have been in abusive relationships with cheating men. My last one was 5 years ago and I was single until this partner.

I am extremely insecure and hate liars in relationships. My partner knows this. He has periods of depression. I have always stood by him and never judged him. Over the last few weeks I have become insecure and have repeatedly accused my partner of cheating with a girl we work with. I have become paranoid partly because I hardly ever see him. He has now said he doesn't want to be with me because I have "worn him down" with the accusations to the point where he never want to be in another relationship. Im gutted that after standing by him in various situations he is now just washing his hands of me. He is VERY sensitive (he's a leo)and VERY dramatic. And very stubborn.

I really really love him and all I want is one more chance to prove to him we can work. Is there anything I can do to get him back? We talked a week ago and he said he really loved me and could not imagine his life without me...it all seems to have changed overnight!

I've told him I'm seeing a councillor now for my insecurity and anger issues but he still wont change his mind

View related questions: insecure, liar, period

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHim having depression is very different to you accusing him off cheating. Depression is an illness, you being insecure is not his fault. You need to deal with your past or you will never be happy in a relationship. You need to get yourself sorted for your insecurities and anger. I could not be with someone either who is always accusing me off cheating, off course it is going to wear him down. Respect his wishes, let him go and focus on getting yourself better before you begin any more relationships. I know it is difficult when you have had bad experiences but believe me you can over come it.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (14 October 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt"I really really love him"

That statement is not true...at all. If you really really love him, you would not accuse him or have any need to be insecure.

You want to be with him simply because you do not want to be alone...that is more hurtful.

If a man makes you feel insecure, why are you with him?? Plus he has told you he does not want to be with you anymore, and yet you fight to hold on to someone who brings out your anger, and insecurities. Why do that to yourself??

He has been divorce twice...Ever think the problem is him and not you? When someone has been divorce twice, it means they did not learn their lesson from the first divorce, and has repeated again.

So I am guessing you are lining up to be the third divorce?

The hurt train is coming...and you have ask yourself where you want to be when it comes...on the tracks, or on the platform.

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