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I did so much for her, yet when I decided to stop receiving her abuse all she did was get mad at me!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

After college, I continued on with my education while my friend "X" had her plans not go according to the way she wanted them to. (She didn't get accepted to grad school and didn't get a high paying job she wanted.) Over time we saw less of each other. That's okay, I thought, it happens in life. We were no longer as close as we used to be, but still met up at least once a month. Well, X developed quite an attitude. She would pretty much verbally abuse me- she would put me down and make fun of me. She also used me as her punching bag, since she was getting verbally abused at work. (Petty stuff- they made fun of her for not having a lot of dating/boy experience.)

I tolerated her verbal lashings and put up with it- after all she was someone I've known since high school and I remember how she used to be so fun and exciting to hang out with. We saw each other at the beginning of the year and then nothing from her end. After about 2 months I received a voicemail from her because she broke up with her boyfriend. I didn't call her back. I did send her a birthday card for her birthday and she left a message to thank me for it, bragging how she was traveling out of the country.

Well, a mutual friend "P" also used to be close with X, but hadn't talk to her in years. P decided to reach out to X and they met up. P said that all X did was brag about all these guys she was dating and how she was some jet-setter traveling the globe. She also bragged that an old friend from boarding school didn't recognize her. (X lost a lot of weight.) X spent the rest of the time knocking us and saying how "some things never change." (Because P and I still hung out and saw each other.)

I am trying to move on, but don't understand why she has such animosity towards us. I used to drive over to her house whenever she needed me, even when I was working 2 jobs and going to school. I did so much for her, yet when I decided to stop receiving her abuse all she did was get mad at ME?! Logically, I know it is time to move on. But emotionally I can't seem to. I am far from perfect, but I like to think of myself as a good, loyal friend. I just can't seem to get past this. Any suggestions?

View related questions: at work, broke up, move on

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (30 July 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntSome people are petty and not worth your time. She seems to be on of them. People do change, sometimes for the worse, as they grow older.

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