New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I cursed her out, we broke up, I want her back, but she's moved on.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Family, Health, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, *rAby writes:

I never felt this bad in my life. This is the first time I ever truly loved a girl and the first time I've been genuinely heartbroken. We broke up because I felt she was being cold to me, plus I had no job and I guess the sex wasn't great and I would never take her out because I had no money. I sensed her family didn't like me too much and thought I was weird looking and too shy..

But anyways I cursed her out and we broke up. But she kept saying she wanted space and she said she felt like I was forcing her.. She kept saying she loved me and wanted to be with me but my words were too hurtful for her to want to be in a relationship with me and I basically kept begging to be with her and saying if she loved me we should work it out and I kept apologizing but it never changed her mind..

She just kept saying no she doesn't want to be with me.. And like a couple weeks after the breakup I called her and some dude picked up saying leave her alone and we started cursing each other out and then I texted her and I asked if she had anything to do with it and she said no - that was not me but I never thought she would move on so quick..

But enough of me blabbering - I went to her house this morning and tried to pop up by surprise and some guy answered and told her she went to work so I said okay and left. But then I thought how did he know I was there for my ex.. SO icalled her phone and he picked up and said I got her phone and then I asked him why do you have her phone and he said ""Im her man"" and he hung up. I got so angry and I texted her or him how I hurt I was. Its crazy because I even brought food over and I recorded a song and sent it to her email like I had this whole thing planned out where I was trying to get her back.. but I have asked her before if she was talking to any other guys and she would be quiet.

This situation defintely explains why she's been ignoring me. I feel so hurt like I didnt cry or nothing but I can feel the tear ducts flickering and ****. All I know is that I think sex, money, attention, looks, and status played a big role in this. And Im never gonna love a girl like that ever again in life -- She kept telling me she loved me. She texted me just yesterday and told me she will always love me. and she did she say she has moved on but I figured if it was really love then she should be with me --

im aquarius - she was a gemini. first girl I ever loved smh wow. i kept saying to myself wow.. thats all I have to say . wow. im done.

View related questions: broke up, heartbroken, money, move on, my ex, shy, text

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2013):

N91 agony auntI think you just need to stop contacting her for the time being, let the dust settle, let her think what she wants to do, decide for yourself what you want to do and if it will be a good idea to get back together or not.

Don't try to rush things because it will make you look clingy and needy, it can be very off putting for some people.

Just try to relax a little, just give it time and go with the flow.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, MrAby United States +, writes (1 December 2013):

MrAby is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yeah I think she is just messing with me. I was being respectful to her but I think I was texting her too much and she's feeling "overwhelmed". But how can she break up with me for being disrspectful, say she cares about me, and then just makes me look like a fool when she doesn't text me back?

I sent her like 10 texts respectfully asking her to give me answers about why she would throw two years down the toilet to be in a relationship with another guy and then break up? and she mad because I called her a whore which was part of the cause of the break up when she does things like this which makes her look like one .. I dont get it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2013):

N91 agony auntSounds like she's just messing you about now. In what way do you feel bad for her? Can you be a little more specific?

If she really wanted to get back with you, why wouldn't she do it straight away, what's stopping her?

If you're going to keep contact, be careful.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, MrAby United States +, writes (30 November 2013):

MrAby is verified as being by the original poster of the question

UPDATE: I texted her this morning and she texted me back saying she broke up with the "new guy" and she still cares about me. 0- I dont even know what to say. Im so numb now,.

I can tell she was nervous about saying it but it took guts for her to say that and I told her this. I feel bad for her now though. I just she would have listened to me about getting back together and working things out - wow.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (29 November 2013):

N91 agony auntDude, what you did is weird as hell. You don't just go turning up at people's houses like that. Unfortunately we don't live in a fairytale and you can't expect something like that to work.

You know she is seeing another guy and she has told you she has moved on. You need to accept that and begin to move on yourself. It will hurt, it will hurt a fucking lot. But it's over and you need to stop contacting her or else you will never move on and will just look creepier every time you try to speak to her.

Also, you manner in what you spoke to her and dealt with the situations that came up was wrong. Swearing at people and coming across aggressive is never the right approach to take and maybe it gave her a deeper insight into your personality and it put her off you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, MrAby United States +, writes (29 November 2013):

MrAby is verified as being by the original poster of the question

What I left out is that I didnt contact her in for 2 weeks because of a project I was working on and I needed the money. I dont have a job but I still get money you know. - And she knew this and it wasn't intentional. I just got caught up and ever since then she's been cold to me and I guess we broke up. I kno i dont want to seem stalkerish but thats how bad I love this girl tht I would do anything, even if it means making myself look bad and look like a fool. Its too late and know that. Im trying to move on-- thats why Im on here just looking for people to talk to about it. Im sorry I did her wrong.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYou need to start respecting the fact that is IT OVER. She is done. Respect HER.

YOU need to let it go and let HER go. What you are doing is borderline stalking and NOT OK. No wonder she had a guy pick up her phone when you called. She was hoping it would make you STOP.

YOU are possibly SCARING her, is that what you want?

You felt bad about yourself, no having a job, not taking her out and then you TOOK that frustration out on HER. Cussing her out. Any girl with smarts would have dropped you in a heartbeat. Because first comes the cussing out, then the yelling,the trying to control, stalking, the slapping, the hitting, the drinking.... YOU name it. It's going down a dangerous path.

I don't think she left you because she wanted a richer fella but because YOUR action scared her or turned her off.

LEAVE her be.

Find yourself something that makes you happy, don't hang that whole responsibility on another person. It might feel like you will never find someone to love like you love her, but you will eventually.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (28 November 2013):

Anonymous 123 agony auntShe's moved on; you have to, too.

Don't be the creepy ex who shows up unannounced at her door, just leave her alone because it's over. I don't know why she's still contacting you and stringing you along and giving you hope...maybe she's confused and doesn't know what she really wants. However, all said and done, the relationship is over and you have to just move on. Stop contacting her and cut her off if she insists on contacting you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I cursed her out, we broke up, I want her back, but she's moved on."

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0313053000063519!