A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together for over 5 years and are still very much in love. We have always said we will marry right out of college, but that is now only a few semesters away. This summer we had some ups and downs and on several occasions he was very rude and mean and called me names on the phone. I told him I was thinking of breaking up as he didn't seem to understand that he had done anything terribly wrong. "People get crazy once in a while", he says.We worked it out, but now he says we have to rethink our timeline because I must not love him the way he loves me. He bases this on the fact that I would even consider breaking it off. He says he would go through anything with me and that he doesn't think I would do that for him and he doesn't want to end up divorced. I am so confused. We have had a happy 5 years w/ sporadic upsets where he goes off the deep end and is verbally abusive. We have talked it through in the past, but this last episode was sort of serious and the name calling was very insulting. I love him very much, but I feel like I am being punished because I questioned the relationship. Am I being unreasonable?
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female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 no you are not and stop feeling that way.. he needs to take a long hard look at himself and take responsibilities for his own actions.. i mean fancy getting defensive after you question HIS rude behaviour?? to me it just says he reckons its ok to go off the deep end and end up calling your gf names.. ok it can happen to the best of us.. but usually apologies and reassurances come after it .. and if its really bad then some coaching prolly to help anger management..
everyone of us gets frustrated at times .. but we must be impeccable with our word.. if one thing frustrates us why do we drag other things in?.. and say what we dont mean?.. he should be sitting down and getting whatever it is off his chest.. and stick to the point.. i would keep questioning his behaviour and whats behind it.. discussion now can lead to avoiding heartbreak later..
cheers !!
A
female
reader, anitica1994  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 No you have the risht of being mad with him because he was insulting you...he is the one that must be sacred not you. Talk to him and if he won t stop you better finished there because does insults one day can be hits...BE CAREFUL!!!!
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