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I clearly prefer sex with a girl but I can't see me in a relationship with one, so am I lesbian?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2008)
A female Haiti age 36-40, anonymous writes:

For some reason when i have sex with a guy...it does not feel good...but when i do with a girl i like it mor...am finding myself looking at girls now and feel more attarcted to them...but at the same time to see me in a realtionship with a girl....i cannot.....

Am i a lesbian?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

You clearly prefer women. But you can't see yourself in a relationship because all our social, cultural environment that clearly doesn't encourage a girl like you to imagine herself a lesbian.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank You soo much everyone......it helps

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A female reader, littlesuziepie  United States +, writes (30 August 2008):

littlesuziepie  agony auntHi. I don't think you should worry about it either.

Your still young and haven't found the right person be it a woman or a man. You may find you are attracted to a woman and you may love her so so deeply that you couldn't think of spending your life with anyone else.

I would say the issue isn't are you a lesbian at all. The issue is your putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

Love is fun. Special and makes us feel so good.

When you meet someone and you fall in love then who cares if it is a man or a woman. And how can you really tell which sex you prefer to be in a relationship with until you know the person.

All in all just relax. When the person comes along you will know. It shouldn't be a worry to you at this point. Everyone is right. Just do what feels good and makes you happy. Regardless of what everyone else thinks is acceptable. Good luck.

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A female reader, littlesuziepie  United States +, writes (30 August 2008):

littlesuziepie  agony auntHi. I don't think you should worry about it either.

Your still young and haven't found the right person be it a woman or a man. You may find you are attracted to a woman and you may love her so so deeply that you couldn't think of spending your life with anyone else.

I would say the issue isn't are you a lesbian at all. The issue is your putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

Love is fun. Special and makes us feel so good.

When you meet someone and you fall in love then who cares if it is a man or a woman. And how can you really tell which sex you prefer to be in a relationship with until you know the person.

All in all just relax. When the person comes along you will know. It shouldn't be a worry to you at this point. Everyone is right. Just do what feels good and makes you happy. Regardless of what everyone else thinks is acceptable. Good luck.

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A male reader, Mark25 United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2008):

Mark25 agony auntYou're still young and your emotions and feelings are still developing. You may find yourself becoming more attracted to girls as you get older and feel that a relationship with a woman is what you want or you may start to feel more attracted to men and find sex is more enjoyable. What I suggest is at the minute do what feels right and see where time takes you. Don't worry about labelling yourself. Anything could happen.

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A male reader, Joe158 United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2008):

Joe158 agony auntWell for starters it may just be an "experimental phase" in your Life. It's not uncommon for people to go through this. As for the sex with men not feeling good it may just not be with the right man.

However! If you like having sex with girls i suggest you continue down the road that makes you feel happiest for now. Since you still don't know if you are a lesbian of course you wouldnt be able to see yourself in a relationship with another woman yet. You shouldn't base your Sexuality on wether you can imagine yourself in a relationship, but "Do i find this person sexually attractive". When i first realised i might be gay i couldn't see myself in a relationship, it just seemed too wierd. Just give it time, you may feel differently soon.

Don't forget that you may also be Bisexual, but could prefer a relationship with Men rather than women, or the other way around. Or Both :D. So i suggest you do what you feel is right, ignore relationships for now until you are sure on your sexualaity. Once you are sure i'm sure the relationship thing will sort iself out.

Joe

xxx

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