New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login224130 questions, 973906 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I caught my 12 year old son masturbating. How should I handle this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2006) 87 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2008)
A male , anonymous writes:

i am a father of a twelve year old boy, and i saw him masturbating,and i blew up, what should i do?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

I guarantee you that every person in the world has masturbated and anyone who says masturbating is bad and unhealthy they are the liars, so I'd suggest just let him go and try to avoid him try not to talk to him to much because personally I got caught masturbating and did not like the talk so try not to make him feel uncomfortable and he'll be a perfectly normal kid.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

Im 12 and have been masturbating for a few years its perfectly normal and you did it when you were younger and he is normal and shouldn't be in trouble and yelled at for doing wwhat he's supposed to do so let him and in the future he'll be tired of it and he won't probley have as many kids and we'll be fine.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, detective United States +, writes (18 March 2008):

I would apologize for barging in and yelling. Tell him it's a natural thing to do but encourage him to lock his door (or the bathroom door if he uses that room.)

Most important is to assure him there is nothing wrong with him or what he was doing. I wouldn't show him how or admit you did it (or still do) unless he asks directly. Above all I would NEVER touch him to demonstrate the 'right way' to do it. There is no wrong way. I've been masturbating since I discovered the pleasure just before my 9th birthday, and I'm well over 50 with 9 grandsons! I'm sure some of them are into it as well. Please apologize and make peace with him, and yourself.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

I'm 13 and i've already been trying on different condoms.I personaly think you should apologize because you know you did it once.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

you should be worried if he's not masturbating. go live on a farm for a while if you're that far removed from nature. last thing you need to do is to listen to suburban religious freaks. as for other posters who who pull a certain age for masturbating out of the air, well, since they are showing their lunacy in public already

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

it is very normal for a males to masturbate and some do start early as ten year of age. The only advise i could give you is to never go into his room without pr warning and buy some tissues so he can clean himself up..

I would also advise not to go on his computer as they are private to them and tell him we will forget about this now.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

Some of you guys have been masturbating since you were 11 and 10!?

I mean 12 is early enough... 10..11.. that you shouldnt be doing!

Just tell him its only natural and need not to worry.. you know you probably masturbate to a playboy magazine!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

Didn't you masturbate when you were 12? Tell him you are sorry for yelling and explain to him it is perfectly normal to have the urge. As long as he does it in private it isn't your business.

Encourage him to talk to you about what changes his body is going through. Don't push him away.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008):

you no what guys and some girls i think your addvise has helped me but now i rlize that i am not the only one and should not be ashamed EVEN THOGH THIS IS NOT AN EDIVISE CENTER /thank you

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008):

im almost 13, and ive been masturbating every day since i was 10... it's normal... dont worry about it, if it makes you uncomfortable, tough. every guy does it, and most boys his age do it... and realy, as much as yo want to... don't talk to him.

having been caught masturbating, i know what it's like to get "the talk" from my parents about masturbating and all... its worse then actually getting caught! just pretend it never happened...

and dont go in to his room without knocking from now on.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

I think you should talk to him about it and let him know that you feel uncomfortable doing it. However, let him do his own thing too. He is getting older and exploring his body is something he is going to do at one point or another, be it when he is alone... or with someone else. Keep it in control and apologize to him for blowing up. He is your son, and you know that you love him with all your heart. He may be growing up too fast in your eyes, but in his he feels choked by the collar of parenthood. Good Luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008):

its nothing to be ashamed of, im 13 and ive been doing it since i was 11. i mean why wud u shout at him hes only following natures path

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008):

let him masturbate,put a box of tissues by his bed,at least he can clean it up! how about leaving condoms as well?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008):

all i can say is you should talk to him and tell him that this is perfectly a normal thing specially to guys of his age, anyway you did it yourself in your early age as well. lets say that i was never caught masturbating but i do it at least 3-4 times a day. and am already 25... talk about this matter with him but do not do it on front of him, let him explore it himself.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

hey mang seriously i'm 12 and i would be REALLY embarrassed if my dad came in on me masturbating.

dont blow up or get angry at him for masturbating, give him some playboy magazines so he doesnt venture further into sexual desires while hes underage. and apologize to him.

good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008):

I was caught at 14 masterbating by my mother, she yelled at me and got me off the chair to check if I was doing it or not, I zipped up before she took me down. To this day I got emotional and mental problems with my self esteem im 32 now. Only now I am trying to deal with this issue.

Simon

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008):

Me personaly i "attempt" to do it at most 3 times a day and ive been cutting down since about 4-6 months ago but personally i would say not to be worried cuz its normal and even if you do yell(which u shouldnt have done)that may give him a rush to start doing it more frequently cuz i got tons of friends (boys & girls) tell me that they got a rush from it thus making them do it more.....In short KNOCK FIRST,DONT YELL,and be glad that at least he's doing it like everyone else does.

**Anonomys/13/MD

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008):

you should sit down with him and tell him that it is something to be done in private, but that it is normal and healthy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

He is just exploring his body and you should not be mad you should help him in this time of his life mabey you should try masturbating if you don't already and if you do talk to him calmly maby buy him some lotion and if he is confused show him how you do it if you do

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008):

heeyy i think you should just let him wank because its a normal thing and nothing should happen

and it means the boy just has naughty thoughts

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

Weel. I'm twelve now, and I find it relaxing while mastubating. O watch pornography on my computer while masturbating. Help me though, I seem to be ejuculating far to much. I thought I'd try it, my stomoch feels weird, my penis hurts, but I like it. I ejucualte around 2 ml of sperm for every 10-20 mins i masturbate.

Just leave your son, he'll be fine. All he's doing, like me, is probably starting to think about sex more. Maybe he'll watch some porn. He'll masturbate, ejucte. and he'll LOVE it

Regards- Danny

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008):

Let him go. I'm 16, have been masturbating since I was 11, and loved every second of it. Everyone (Not to generalize does it)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007):

if hes only 12 thats good he masterbates it will make sure he has his foreskin fully retracted because by age 12 it should be fully free its funny how nature makes boys masterbate around the age where the foreskin starts unpeeling itself reviling the head hehe get him a playboy or get yourself one and leave it so he finds it so he thinks he sneeks it without you knowing then dont say nothing its normal

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007):

well im only 12yrs old and being a horny girl most of the time its kind of hard not to masturbate, i do it like 2-3 times a day and i feel its completley normal for young ppl like me to do it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

iam 16 years old i have been masturbating twice a day since i was 11 it is ok for a 12 year old to masturbate maybe you should show your son how to masturbate but on your self. last year my 13 year old brother asked me how to masturbate and he wanted me to show him so i did but on my self when i did he said thanks. now he asks me to masturbate with him and we both enjoy it. so maybe you should try the same thing

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

hey u shouldnt of yelled at him my parents cuagth me and they jst talked about it. ive been doin it for9 months go ahed dp it but in private

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

look everyone does it first time is weird, i was 12 when i stared wanking and i have done 3 times a day ever since, heck i even watch porn and im 16 now. i have even wanked with friends. im staright. theres nothing to be ashamed of.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007):

try to just ignore it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007):

Here im 13 and i masterbate its nothin bad or good

but i over heard some people say it's experience for when ur older. i guess u ca understand tht but im still figurin it out lol

good luck in encouragements

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007):

Oh please, why would you yell at him. Have you no shame? I'm 12 and do it every day. And ever hear of KNOCKING? Oh, parents these days .

Let him do his thing.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007):

you should leave it because it is completley normal for a boy to do so dont mention it to him just leave it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

I am 12 and I wack off every once in a while its ok but its also private so dn't do anything about it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

this is normal, i am 12 and have been wanking since i was like 10. tell him not to do this too much though as it can lead to a very sore penis.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007):

Its Ok to masturbate, I am 13 and i do. Its perfectly natural, apologize and encourage ur son. Good Luck :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):

i think it is perfectly normal for a boy his age to mastebate, but tell him to only do it oce a week beacuse early masterbatesion can lead to lack in sperm.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):

let him have his fun, you did

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007):

you really should not have done that,i am 15 and i masturbate every day since i was 11

it is natural for a 12 year old to be exploring their bodys

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007):

Hi. I really think you shouldnt have yelled at him. i'm 13 and I masturbate every day. Its a very healthy and normal thing to do. Its a very easy way to achieve sexual gratification before or during marriage. I hope you overcome your problem!! GOOD LUCK!!!

*Austin-13-GA*

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007):

That was really unnecessary (mod: dictionary.com - good for spell checks). It's normal for every child. I'm thirteen, and I masturbate every day. You should apologize to him. Good luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

well..i really thing you should'nt have yelled at him. I'm 18 years old now and I masturbated since I was 12. If its against your religion to masturbate then go aheas. yell at him, but if it isn't why the hell bother. It is normal for every male in the world to think about sex. I got my first blow job when I was 14 from my girl friend and I got a hand job when I was 13. Its all normal. It might be good to give him 2 or 3 porn magaziens as well. Trust me. he would feel a lot better. Also be sure that u will always KNOCK!!!!!.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

Im 14 and I jerk off my penis 2 times a day it feels great and every boy loves to jerk their meat. Its natural and boys have to ejaculate or else they will have wet dreams, I have a 13 year old brother and me and him masterbate together in our room and were both straight, sometimes we jerk one another. Its okay to masterbate, dont yell at him! Just make sure he cleans up his cum and locks his door when he wants to jerk off. If he is doing something wrong then have a talk with him and demonstrate how to masterbate by doing it to your penis. He doesnt understand to much at 12... dont make him feel ashamed, you did it when you were younger and you know it feels great

LET HIM ENJOY!!!

Good luck

Saddiff from jersey.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

tell him how to do it!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):

It is best to keep the lines of communication open with your child(ren) and one way is to keep your cool in all situations. I know easier said than done. Catching your son masterbating may have been a shock for you and embarrassing for him. My suggestion is to remove yourself from the time and allow both of you to compose yourselves. The next step after composure is to ask for a moment to have the "uncomfortable" sexuality talk and the need for respect of privacy and the need to assure that measures are taken to prevent others from walking in on him. Each person should be given the opportunity to explore their sexuality in a safe and unshameful way....with respect and knowledge of the responsibilities he/she may have to themselves, their partner, and society as a whole.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

I masterbate too. Maybe u should tell him u masterbate too and that might make him more comfortable. Even show him how?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007):

it is very normal for him to masturbate..actually it is a good thing. everyone masturbates in their life. it's just that he's is early, but it is okay. you shouldn't have blown up cuz ur just making him scared. you should apologize to him and maybe talk to him about...just make sure you don't embarrass him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007):

It is dead normal.I do it every day and i am 13.

Don't be silly and apologize to your son.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

i am 13 and i do it twice a day it is normal! just dont talk to him about it then he will feel scared, he might no talk to you. say sorry and leave it at that and just carry on with wot u were doing. When he is 14 i would talk to him face to face about it and say about it is normall! If he wants to ask a question about wanking then answer them! Make sure your wife is out out of the house! Just in case she over hears and then she will shout at your son!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007):

ok this is what u should've done knock on his door about 10 times and if he dudnt answer tell him that u were coming in.im 13 i masturbate about every month and i got caught believe me mit is embarrissing but dont yell at him its only gonna make him ashamed,embarressed,and he probly would avoid u at some point

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007):

Well mate the first thing is not to over-react. I will tell you this now when i was young about 14 i was caught masterbating by my grandfather and mother now this was a hefty time for me and i learnt a wise thing in this process.

1st: Do not tell your son that he is done something wrong. Yelling at him telling him that he is a sick child or disciplining him for this will cause distress or even worse, him being mentally scarred.

What you want to do is re-assure him that this is a process in which every male goes through. IF and only IF you know the process of the male adolescence tell him the process.

Then tell him the cons and pros of masterbating and where and when it is appropriate to do it. Thats the best i can offer you mate. Wish you all the best.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007):

im 13 and i wank alot its completely normal

exspeccialy at his age he is just finding out about himself so go and say sorry and tell him thats it completly normal to do.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, jezz United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2007):

jezz agony aunteverybody does it its natural, dont be too hard on him he is just growing up and its completely normal.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

Come on we all did it and we all will still. i do it. the next bo7/girl does it so let him at it. dont encourage him just apologise that you shouted at him.

im a 13 year old boy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007):

That was not the right thing to do to your son. He should to be able to start at any age and if he thinks he is ready let him do it. It is natural for boys of his age to be curious. I started at 12 and it did not effect me in any way. Just knock every time you walk in to his room. Dont make him feel embraressed about it because then he might not start up again because he feels ashamed.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007):

Hey guy its normal i m also masturbated for a long time i`m now 17 yearsold its normal.When in the future i will let my child to masturbate .Its the way a child changing into adult.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007):

this is perfectly normal for this age i do it every 2-3 days and it has not killed me

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007):

hey man im 14 and i masturbate on occasion..i totaly understand that its weird walkin on ur kid like that but u didnt need to blow up. its not like u havent..and tell him your sorry but i wouldnt sit down with him and make it a big deal u dont want to make him uncomfortable..when doin ur everyday stuff and he happens to be near you continue to do wut ever it is that u were doin and just tell him ur sorry and its ok, make it short and easy and make sure it in ur house he will probably walk away when ur done talkin to him so give him space too relax

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007):

Its normally right for males or females to masturbate because they are learning. The problem is when they start to heat up with the opposite sex. Thats when you should be really concerned.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007):

im 12 and i masturbate chill say sorry and know its normal

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007):

my advice is KNOCK!!! and 4 the kid hoos 13 and his girlfriend gives him handjobs, she needs 2 go on maury and talk about it cuz that just aint right!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

i am 13 and wank alot it is completely normal thing to do

especially at his age if he feels the need to masturbate just let him he has probaly got a problem or he is stressed that is why he is masturbating

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

hay dude why yell at a 12 year old boy for that if he wants to do it let him he's not hurting any one

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (19 July 2007):

Andy00 agony auntExplain "blew up"? Did you yell at him?

Anyway, fact is, masturbation, these days certainly, is very normal. He has maybe found out about it a little earlier than normal, possibly from his own research (face it, mate, it's only natural if he's curious) or from friends at school. I remember my friends used to talk about Sex constantly, and I never completely understood what they were talking about.. I for one was unaware of masturbation (maybe because sex-ed bored and, in some ways, embarrassed me), and I didn't do it until I was nearly 15.

People are different. Your son is going through changes and there is no way of stopping it. Just allow him to do things his own way, and offer advice if he asks it of you, like a responsible adult. If you yelled at him before, apologize, tell him you were just a little surprised, and reasure him that what he was doing is only natural, and he should not be ashamed.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007):

im twelve and i masterbate not twice a day but it is normal betweeen ages 9-50 he may just be going through puberty slightly earlier than other boys which makes him more likely to masterbate but check if he was masterbating over something not suitable

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

Im twelve and masturbate twice about everyday. It is pefectly normal. Surveys say that about 85% of people masturbate. Apologise to your son and let him masturbate when he wants.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007):

bSTOOOOOOOOOPb.... what's going on here....

everyone here is replying as not to scold the boy... man oh man...

Mr. Father.. i completely support masturbation. There is nothing bad about it BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD ENCOURAGE YOUR SON TO DO MASTURBATION. He is still a child. masturbation is like sugar.. if u have it too much then its going to be bitter.

My suggestion is to tell your son that this isn't the age to think about girls.. (don't tell him anything about masturbation - neither bad nor good-- because if u tell him that its good then he might make him occupied by it letting him miss other activities. If you tell him its bad, then he might suppress his feelings and get depressed)..

Mr. Father, this isn't the time at all to tell him anything supporting the sexual pleasure. With time he will know it by himself.. or you can tell him when you think he is in condition to understand things better (when he is teenage)

I am totally surprised by all the answers here... today in local paper (Germany) there was a news about a 7 years old school girl having sex and making video of it with mobile phone...

NOW WHAT WOULD YOU ALL HAVE TOLD HER

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007):

you should certainly not get mad with your

son. he's doing his private thing that keeps him

occupied and happy. it's a very natural thing to do.

he is definetly old enough. there is no age limit.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

I am 15 and I do it every 2 nights! It is a perfectly normal thing especially for boy teens.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007):

well think of it this way i'm sure you have done it before and if you think it's wrong talk about it ,because if you blow up he won't feel open to talk about it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007):

umm... hi I guess you shouldnt say any thing it would embaress him ALOT!!! but I guess that maybe you should nock first!!! but if you do say anything just say its normal and every body does it!!! I mean... probably every body does it!!! but I dont really think that you should tell him that you used to... or you do!!! but just dont bring it up unless he does!!! =)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007):

i was 11 when i started masturbating its ok to do and it feels great im 13 now and my girl gives me hand jobs

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007):

All kids that age do it. Let him enjoy it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007):

masterbating should be normal bacause it is ur body and keep masterbating!!!!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2007):

Hey mister... you need to sit down with him and apologize! You need to tell him you were completely wrong! You need to tell him that you used to do it too (and admit you still do it - and if you don't you should be!). Tell him you felt guilty doing it because your parents or your church made you think it's a sin. After you humbly ask his forgiveness, you then need to encourage him to keep doing it. Tell him it something he should do in private, and you will respect that privacy going forward... but if you catch him again, just grin and say, "sorry to embarras you son... have fun!) and get out quickly and leave him alone.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007):

just let him his growing up and wants to expirends what it feels evreone is doing it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007):

I'm 13 years myself,and i masturbate also. I always thought it was wrong until today,i readed a few topics about it and i finally can accept it. Also,i've never been caught. Ofcourse you get the shock of seeing your own son doing that,but its completely natural. I also think that you must have done it yourself at that age or abit later.

Like much of the others said,have a good talk with your son :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

i am 12 and is it alrite for me to masterbate

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006):

You have to be kidding me. I find it hard to believe that you didn't do the same when you were his age. You probably did and just was never caught doing it. Probably time to have the sex talk with him before he learns it on his own. Best of luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006):

i think you are quite silly for shouting at him. if he has reached puberty, as i recently have, then it is perfectly natural for him to be masturbating.i am his age, going on 13, and i hae never been caught yet. however, i believe you should have had the common courtesty to knock!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (26 September 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou must have a very bad memory. Apologise to the boy and tell him you'll knock next time. No harm done here if you address this right away.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (26 September 2006):

Astrid agony auntI think it is normal for a guy such age dear you shouldn't have stormed like that you should knock the door before you get in the loo or his room as teens need some intimacy or space, I thinkyou should talk to him in a friendly and nice way and to advice him about pregnancy prevention ro sexually transmitted deseases and the importance of being mature and respoinsible to engage in a sexual and emotional relationship a psychologist or a doctor frind could also help to make him feel normal again if he feels ashamend cos of your reaction

good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006):

Your son is normal. Apologise to him and let it be. I am sure you did it at his age, come on the whole nation maturbates at such a young age and I know it can be embarrasing and awkward the only thing is not all of us get caught by our parents. Just think how he must be feeling I know I would have been embarrassed if my parents found out. Good luck and relax.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Amethyst United States +, writes (23 September 2006):

Amethyst agony auntBlowing up on your son wasn't the best react, I agree. I know it was a shock, and you probably didn't know how to react, but think of it this way... what would you have done, if your father walked in one YOU masturbating, and blew up on you? On top of the awkwardness and embarrassment of him walking in on it, you go yelled at!

What I suggest you do, is apologize for the way you reacted.... boys HAVE to masturbate sometimes or else they'll have wet dreams. Would you rather him do that and clean it up or have to change and wash his sheets every other day? It's not like you caught him having sex, be grateful for that.

You need to have "the talk" with your son if you haven't already. Let him know that sex isn't a good idea until he's old enough and financially/mentally stable enough to accept the consequences of it. But masturbation is a part of most everyone's life, few are able to say they haven't done it at least once. (I am one of those few, but I'm a girl, so it's different.) And besides, it's pointless to argue, he's going to do it whether you like it or not, he'll just be sneaky about it instead....

So just, try and stay calm when apologizing, no matter his reaction.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2006):

shania agony auntWhy did you blow up because your son was masturbating? Its a fact of life,most people have done it and its perfectly natural for a 12 year old to do it.I dare say you were embarrassed because you caught him doing it,hence you losing your temper.Its no big deal so forget it,he hasn't committed murder.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tiagre +, writes (23 September 2006):

My only advise is DON'T MAKE HIM FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, and especially, don't be a hypocrit. If you make him feel bad, he'll get the wrong image that sex is bad, and either want to do it more, or feel guilty and ashamed.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, missaqua777 United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2006):

missaqua777 agony auntJeez I expect it was a really awkward shock! You must remember that every boy has done it and it is completely normal. You or your son both have nothing to be ashamed of because your son was just acting the way every boy(and men) act, they just don't admit it. All it was was an unlucky twist because of course neither of you expected it and it couldn't be helped. I think you feel that the situation is worse than it is because it's a rare unlucky situation. Try to forget about it and it's totally normal, neither of you are in the wrong.

Take care hehe :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Toria +, writes (23 September 2006):

Toria agony auntYour son is going through that stage in his life where he is experimenting and learning about his body nothing you do will stop it.

My advice would be to talk to him as you have already blown up at him you really need to go talk to him and tell him that it is normal and you are sorry for blowing up regarding this.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, David Lewis United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2006):

David Lewis agony auntI think you just really need to accept that this is normal. He is going to do it regardless of how you feel. If you try to chastise him, he will probably do it all the more.

The best thing to do is just accept he does it, it is normal for boys his age.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.09375!