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I caught him jerking off to my underage niece's picture!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I feel betrayed, lied to and disgusted...

I caught my boyfriend in a pile of lies. For some reason he was denying he logged onto my laptop. After a minutes of going back and forth he admitted to it. The only reason I made it a big deal was because he admitted to jerking off to my niece's picture. Who is underage, but looks a little older for her age.

Anyhow, I would not have an issue with him masturbating as I understand this is a natural thing for humans, but knowing that he was looking at my niece's pictures really upsets me.

He has asked for forgiveness and said he was to be the stupidest man alive for doing this to me. I told him I needed my space to think things through, but I'm just so shocked that this has happened. We had a great relationship and I would have never expected something like this from him... =(

Please help - any advise is greatly appreciated.

A Deeply Distressed and Depressed Lady

View related questions: depressed

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A female reader, Miruri=] United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2009):

Miruri=] agony auntIn my opinion that's really sick But I agree with OtherStarfish

he was at least honest, even though he did such a stupid thing

and i mean a really really stupid and sick thing

but don't go straight to the forgiveness point

give it a little time

And know that it might be a little harder to get over it knowing that she is your niece and the fact that shes underage.

Also see how he acts around her

If he does acts weird or a bit pervy then i'd say is time to think of a way to end the relationship =/

In the end it'll be up to you hunni

Good luck x

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A female reader, Miruri=] United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2009):

Miruri=] agony auntIn my opinion that's really sick But I agree with OtherStarfish

he was at least honest, even though he did such a stupid thing

and i mean a really really stupid and sick thing

but don't go straight to the forgiveness point

give it a little time

And know that it might be a little harder to get over it knowing that she is your niece and the fact that shes underage.

Also see how he acts around her

If he does acts weird or a bit pervy then i'd say is time to think of a way to end the relationship =/

In the end it'll be up to you hunni

Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009):

tricky this - i know instinct is kill him. But he was honest and if that is a one off and only fault then you have to see inside if you forgive him. It does not make him a pedo, just very, very stupid.

I think if it were me i would forgive, but not forget and see how he is around her and later on as she grows. try not to read to much into small things if that is the case.

The forgiveness comes with a huge warning - I don't need to spell this out.

Hugs Star.x.

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A male reader, gumbbo United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2009):

He was honest with you. I'd forgive him, he's not a pervert, just did a stupid thing which he probably feels awful about. Sometimes with men when we're horny we get stupid ideas in our heads, sometimes they are wrong but i'd never do anything to harm anyone, and i guess he just got a stupid idea in his head when he was horny and not thinking properly, and just thought that it wouldn't harm anyone. He probably felt ashamed to second after he came, and felt really dirty. Let me stress again, he admitted this to you, which means it probably not something he regularly does. Men with weird perversions develop clever ways to conceal them from their partners, for years sometimes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009):

Sorry but that's really sick, the fact it's your own family member is just going to make it even harder to get over. Personally I would end the relationship, if she was under 16 and he's in his late twenties it's just so wrong.

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