A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:The man i am dating has mentioned once that he doesn't want to get married. On the other hand i told him that i want to get married. After our disagreement before 2 months i haven't speak again clearly about this matter but he however mentions something during discussion. However, i avoid to get a clear position about this subject again and i usually avoid to express my true feelings and i usually mention something different from what i am really feeling. I feel exhausted sometimes from all this mess, to care so much not to mention my feelings for him because i think that this will turn him away. How should i respond? Should i show to him that i am really interested in him or that i don't really care for him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 This is not true love. If you have to hide your true feelings from him , you are living in a world of deceit. This can cause you emotional, psychological and mental problems.It can wear you down.
You want to date ,in view marriage but he just want to date and this just shows that he has commitment issues or he is not ready to get married .You two are incompatible.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Well the first question I would have is how long have you been dating?? If it's not that long then I can understand a reluctance on his part to want to marry right now. What are his reasons?? Why do you think it will turn him away?
I think what is exhausting you is the effort it is taking to bottle all these emotions up and the emotional strain is starting to take it's toll physically. I think you need to at least talk to somebody, a close friend or relative maybe, and get those emotions out their in the open as a minimum; what you do in regard to him depends on the answers to some of the questions above, if you havent been dating for long then I would consider totally dropping marriage at least for the time being; if he is reluctant because he is unsure then you need to explain the importance of this to you and reassure him and maybe he will come round; if he is against marriage in general then there is little you can do to change that and you either need to give it time and hope you can gently win him round or reasses the relationship if you feel that it is that important too you.
Good luck :)
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