A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My good friend, god bless her soul, doesn't have much common sense. Shes a real sweet gal, but she really fails to sense ill will from others. She tends to go for guys based solely on looks, and also whom openly disrespect her, dumping any nice guy who actually tries to show some care. Shes constantly lusting for boys who've stolen from her or used her. I've always tried to look out for her, and have scared a lot of these jerks off, or advised her to stay away from them. Even so, if she still persues them, I support her. But lately shes been looking for men online, and she stays in my home with my grandma. I have told her this is crossing the line, and not to give our address out but it would seem shes still trolling for guys she doesn't know, being far too willing to meet up with total strangers. She continues to blow off my gentle concerns, and if I try to get tough she cries about how lonely she is. I don't want to see her so unhappy, so I back off, but I don't feel like she's getting the message. Shes always been there for me, and I would like to do the same for her- but a part of me feels if I continue to let her stay in my home, I will be enabling her. How can I say this with out making her feel unloved or that I am giving up on her?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Unfortunately, you can't change her dating pattern. One day it will dawn on her that she's dating losers. However, you can set rules in your house since you are being so kind to let her stay there. Your house, your rules. Tell her she is not allowed to bring guys that she or you don't know to your home. It's fine, to go over to their place, out on dates, etc. but they are not allowed in your house out of respect to you and your grandmother. Is she paying you rent? You're going to have to put your foot down, don't fall for her crocodile tears..if she doesn't like the rules you have set then she can move out and get a place of her own. Don't let her take advantage of your hospitality.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Kudos to you for being such a good friend! But I am afraid there is nothing you can do for this girl. Some people are just not very bright and unfortunately, that can't be changed. She will keep choosing the wrong guys and there is nothing you can do about it.
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