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I can't stop thinking about my sister in law

Tagged as: Cheating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 December 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2017)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

For the past few days I have been rather confused. I am a married man and I have been getting mix feeling for my sister in law. Since my wife is vey close with her sister, I spend a lot of time with her. My sister in law would follow us everywhere she gose and help take care of our kids. We are just like a big family that hangs out all the time.

My feeling for her was limited to my little sister, just like my wife she is my responsibility to take care of her to protact her. But few days ago I had a dream that I had sex with her, and for the past few days I cannot get her off my mind. She is all that I could think of now.

I know it is wrong to cheat on my wife, and perhaps it is even worst if it's my wife's sister. But another side of me is telling me to do it, at lease try.

I really need some advise on what I should do, I have always find her attractive, but not to this extend.

View related questions: married man, sister in law

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A female reader, Goochick United States +, writes (17 March 2017):

I know this question is old but I've been in situation. I started to notice my brother-in-law (he's married to my husband's sister). The 4 of us were always best friends, did everything together. Went on vacations, had game nights every week, spent holidays together. And now, because of my and his bad decisions, we lost out on everything. It started out with a physical attraction that we admitted to each other and ended 11 months later in a full blown affair. My husband caught us (not in the act, but he saw our chats). It has completely destroyed our relationship. We will never get back what was lost. We lost out on a lifetime of memories, friendship, and family. My sister-in-law hates me and my husband hates my brother in law. And when I say hate, I mean HATE. There is no chance of forgiveness or moving past this one. It was NOT worth the little bit of fun that we had. And yes, it was fun. We took it pretty much as far as we possibly could, and then some. My advice.... Keep it as a fantasy. It's fine to notice someone. But if you're noticing her shortly after a sex dream, those feelings will go away. I've had sex dreams about people and for sever days afterwards, that person is all I can think about, but it always goes away. Be lucky that's only as far as it went for you - just a one sided dream. You don't have to deal with the consequences that I'm now dealing with every day. Our kids and there kids (all cousins) were best friends. As wrong as this is, my sister in law has forbid her kids to ever be around me or see me again, so because of that, they aren't allowed to ever see their cousins again. They're teenagers and are pissed that they are paying the price for our mistakes. It's a huge mess. For anyone else reading this who may be considering it, it's NOT worth it. You WILL get caught eventually. I promise you that. Keep it as a fantasy only and keep it to yourself. Don't tell your spouse, other friends, and especially not your brother or sister in law (or whoever it may be that you're crushing on). Fantasies are fine, actions are not. Good luck. Don't end up where I'm at!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2014):

It's awful I know, people don't really understand that "Don't do it" it's not the answer you're looking for, you're already "not doing it"... whatever. It's definitely a difficult thing to do, I'm in your same situation, I see her every week and it's not like I can turn off my brain, memories and shit flow back. When will it be over? not sure... hang in there, rejoyce in the fact that you're not alone.

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A female reader, FreedomIsMyPassion United States +, writes (13 December 2010):

Dude, As what you've said. Cheating is wrong. And thinking about your sister in law is totally not fine. Think about your wife's feeling afterwards? Is she going to be happy because you are attracted to her sister? Totally not, right? And if you have a brother and your wife tells you that she has feelings for your brother and wants him so so bad, what would you do? I am pretty sure you will get crazy!

Anyhow, my point is, that is so soooooo wrong. So please cut that crap! Don't be one of the cheaters.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010):

Well, if you get wildly thrilled about and also get an erection thinking about destroying your marriage as well as (assuming she engages in this with you) destroying your wife's relationship with her sister for the rest of her life, a sister to whom she is clearly close, then I suppose you should just go ahead and do it.

Because that is exactly what will happen.

Dreams are just dreams. I had one last night, a nightmare really, and was up most of the night afterward. But, it was a dream.

Stop fantasizing about her, stop thinking like you'd like to be their personal "Hitler" in their lives.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010):

Omg I feel so bad for u the exact same happened to me but its my Bil. Don't do anything about it its just a crush it will ruin your whole life and there family too. Whatever u do keep it to yourself I know its hard but u pretty much have no choice good luck!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010):

Perhaps?! Marriage is a commitment! I don't understand why so many people give in to such weak temptations. If all it takes is a steamy dream for you to cheat on her wife WITH HER SISTER, then I feel sorry for your wife. (And maybe you shouldn't be married)

Let's say you did make an attempt to hook up with YOUR WIFE'S SISTER. Who's to say she'd respond in such a positive way?? She probably considers you to be family, like you should her. She could turn you down, and tell your wife which would consequently ruin your entire life. Are you willing to take that risk?

If you want to keep your family and your marriage stay away from your wife's sister.

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