A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a bad relationship (he would push me and force me to do thing i didnt want to do) i got out of it 1 year ago and since then i have got a new partner and she is great but she want to sleep together i try and make up excuses but she is starting to lose her cool. i want to tell her want happen but im to ashamed of it. i cant sleep with her because of what he did to me. i love her with all my heart and i do want to sleep with her but i cant stand to it. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thank you i'll try and tell her
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionquiet-echo
I've been with her for 8 months and known her from when we were 5 years old i trust her and want to make her happy but i cant in the way she wants
my ex would control me and not let me go out and he would force me into bed with him and hit me
hope this helps with ur advise
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A
female
reader, cheysula  +, writes (28 July 2009):
First of all, you are a brave and amazing person! Congrats for getting out of a bad relationship.Regarding your girlfriend, I think you should ask her, in a serious tone: "If I don't sleep with you, will you break up with me?"If she answers, yes, unequivocably, then she is probably not mature enough to know about your feelings, and maybe you should not be with her. Or if you are set on her, then you'll have to wait until she is a little more mature.If she responds, no, or is surprised by the question, tell her that you really want to, but you can't right now, and it's very personal, and you don't feel comfortable explaining it, but you hope that she can understand and wait for you. P.S. I don't know your relationship with her, but she may possibly be feeling unattractive to you right now, so she might not believe you when you say that you do want to sleep with her. That's okay; don't be upset. Assure her that you love her and think she's gorgeous. Make sure she knows there isn't something else going on (e.g. you're having an affair or you're secretly straight, or a million other silly things).
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