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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a big worry in my life and i cant let it go. I fantasise about women a lot and get so turned on by lesbian porn. Im really worried that this is stopping me from having a longterm relationship with a man which is ultimately what i want so i can have a family and settle down, after all in 33 years of age. I recently had a connection with a female friend which lasted a few years and she really turned me physically and mentally we had a very intense sexually charged flirting friendship. Since then i find myself looking at other girls to get that excitement and those feelings back that im SO afraid no man can give me. I really do fancy men too and love having sex with them but i just cant seem to CONNECT with them in an emotional way like i can with women. Will i ever find happiness?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): I think you secretly know deep down you are slightly attracted to women as well, however that doesn't automatically mean you are a lesbian and will never have childen or even get married. I personally think you should explore your feelings more and maybe try contacting that woman you had a flirty relationship with. At the end of the day I believe it is best to live life being happy than being miserable. Try contacting the other woman and see if anything develops. It might seem to you that she is an experiment but it appears you might have something more for her than you let on. Not everyone can connect with men, I don't and I'm a lesbian, however I have some wicked male friends and I'm happy. I hope this helps!
A
female
reader, GirlTrouble +, writes (12 November 2006):
I concur with the above post, and I would add that in addition to natural fears you may have about admitting your attraction to women to other people, you seem to be struggling with some internalized homophobia. Love, long term relationships, and even children do not have to come in a 1950's style Ozzie and Harriet package. In fact, I doubt they come that way for most straight couples. Perhaps accepting yourself as you are might even make it possible to "connect" with a man, because you won't feel as if you're guiltily faking anymore.
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A
female
reader, gustavia  +, writes (12 November 2006):
of course you'll find happiness, but something is holding you back--perhaps you're afraid of what your family co-workers and friends might think if you came out and said you were a lesbian? bisexual? first you must overcome your fear and concern of what others might think, before you are ready to look and settle down with your soulmate and a family of your own.
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