A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m wanting to quit my job from a sports company I have worked for four years and can’t because I’m under government care which my mum is telling me I can’t get out of. my mum is saying if I quit the job I’m doing the so called profession as they are known can put me into a council accomadation and I would have to clean toilets for a living and not be allowed to live with my parents anymore. I have a companion who I see on mondays just once a week, she’s okay but I don’t like her interfering in my business and trying to stur the pot as it were. while I was on holiday my parents left me money for the week while they were on holiday. I spent all of it one day on gambling and only had whatever was left from the total, my parents found out because of my companions meddling and sister moaning complaints to my parents about me, my brothers couldn’t care less. I found out I have to now go on holidays on a madatory basis with my family and it’s something I don’t want to do. how do I get out of this contract? sack the companion and get out of the holiday? help needed.
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gambling, live with my parents, money, on holiday Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2018): I wasn’t aware that was the case.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2018): Hi I’m the mentalhealth worker who posted about the gaudrain order - it would seem that your parents are not your legal guardians but that by your own admission that social work are - this becomes very tricky .
As legal guardians .the court has deemed you mentally unfit to take care of your own affairs and therefore have given capacity to social work to make your choices in life .. whether you like them or not .
As someone who advocates on behalf of clients .. I would say your best choice is to speak with your parents and get them to set up a meeting with your cpn ( community psychiatric nurse ) you will not be attending a psychologist but a psychiatrist.. however the fact that you feel you can blow money willy nilly and that you have no money for food is fine is not on at all . Hence why ;the court has deemed you with no capacity .. this is the only way at your age that social work can step in and do the things you are stating .
Being in a work environment you don’t like .. doesn’t mean you cant speak up and say I don’t like it .. what else can you offer me ? However you may need to wait for a suitable place to come along . Social work all over are tightening budgets and your very lucky to have such a placement to begin with . You may need to continue where you are until such time .
However if your doing this as a way to control, what you do when you do it ,and your prone to this behaviour then they may disagree and you will still be where you are .
Certainly I think the aunts and uncles need to be aware - that social work need to go through court to gain guardianship to be able to do the types of things you are describing.. and to do that they need lots of professional who have interviewed you .. tested you and have all agreed that you are not capable of making these decision at your age .. they then need to go to court and get an order ..that’s the contract you speak about . Which gives them the right to decide .. where .. how and what you do with your life .
This is to keep you safe .. though it doesn’t mean you can’t speak up .. it means you need to find someone who will guide you and listen and let you also have some autonomy and help guide you in right decisions . However at this time the courts have placed social work as your legal guardian and with that you don’t have much of a say . Just like a parent with a child . What they say goes
I would like to add For instance .. betting isn’t evil but spending loads of money and having none for food is silly and rectkless .they need to give you a budget,I f they haven’t already and help you .. you need to learn and reflect .. and leaving lots of cash where you can get to it ;when you seem to decide to ruin that trust makes it hard for them .. maybe that was a test I don’t know .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2018): shouldn’t let your parents tell you what to do, so you made a mistake so what, wise up.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2018): it does, honeypie, because it’s something I’m not into, they don’t want to know.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2018): it’s complicated to explain, the contact is between social workers, the council who fund my care and the care company who I’m with. employee or employees have nothing to do with it. for some reason I can’t quit because it’s to do with financial nonsense and I need to show I have enough income to fund my care, something daft like that. I’m wanting to quit my job as I am paid poorly and my parents are backing me into a corner and I’m looking to do something else that’s more rewarding.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): Thanks for the updates.Can I ask for some more clarification? What is the form of this contract between the social worker, the care company and your employer? Is it the case that you are unable to live independently?It sounds as if you live with your parents and they have responsibility for you. It even sounds like they have complete control over access to your money. I imagine that you are paid for your job, but your parents have to leave you money when they go away for a week? Why do you want to quit your job? What are you planning to do instead? As for speaking to your parents, you will have to tell them how you feel and why you don't wish to go on holiday with them. Be prepared for them to need assurances that you will not repeat your previous mistake with money. This may well mean having someone else keep an eye on you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 March 2018):
 Why is the holidays with the family such an issue for you?
Is it because it makes you feel you have no say, no control?
It could be that you are "told" to go because you haven't shown your parents that you can take care of yourself. As you proved when you spend the money they left you on gambling and didn't have any food for the rest of the time you were alone. Clearly they feel a responsibility for you, because YOU haven't show that you WANT to take that on.
So how do you get out of the vacation? I don't know. Have you talked to your parents about it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): how do I get out of the holiday? what do I say to them?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): parents are my legal guardians, I don’t know about the other stuff, I see my friends but this is only at work though.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): the contract is between the social worker and care company, the arrangement was suggested by my psychologist who I was referred to. Ive told them but they won’t listen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): Are you parents your legal guardian and have social work funded you a place .. have they drawn up a care plan that stipulates you must attend this or this and this occurs .I think your companion is more your carer and with good cause . Spending a heap of money on gambling that you would have to live on is not on . They are not meddling .. they are taking care of the situation . You may find yourself in a closed down ward unit away from your parents where you will be supervised at a high level . If you can’t control or behave ina manner acceptable . As a young man wht provision are made social activities? Do you get out have friends etc to hang with for a bit ? There is no way out of what your asking . Because if there is an order I would say a guardian order probably . You have been deemed unfit to take care of your own needs . So you can only go to your parents and negotiate other than that .. I’d say your stuck and need to adjust .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2018): got advice from my doctor to talk to someone at a hospital, I discussed my issues with the doctor and he couldn’t do much else except refer me. I’d talk to someone who works for the hospital who was a medical psychologist kind of and this was only for a few sessions and then I was back to square one, and ended up in the end being referred again to a proper psychologist who assessed me, this was for a period for a few months, as the hospital pulled the plug on further funding for it, the psychologist got in touch with a social worker who got me this contract thing with the care company who looks after elderly people and deals with the insane, the social worker saw me a few times and I had to fill out a bible long form about my mental state and how vulnerable I am, the usual red tape nonsense. as I’m under the contract with the social worker and company I can’t as I say quit my job because of the council, social worker, care company in terms of financial side and supporting myself. Ive told them that my parents and they won’t listen. I was referred after I tried to kill myself due to an incident which happened that I can’t go into for private reasons.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2018): After reading your question, I can only imagine that there's more going on here than meets the eye.You give your age as 30-35, but still live with your parents and are under 'government care'. I can only assume that this is due to some sort of special needs or mental health issues as I'm not aware of any government contract that a person couldn't get out of. Can you provide any more details as to what this contract is?I'm not sure who the 'profession' is who could turn up at your parent's house and take you away and make you clean toilets, again it doesn't make much sense.Your next paragraph goes into some details about issues that you've had at work and at home. To be honest if your parents left you money to live on while they were away and you gambled it all away rather than buying food etc. you may have a gambling problem. If I had a colleague at work, certainly one with special needs who spent all of their money on gambling in a day, I'd be tempted to speak to his family. Its not interfering, she's concerned about you. I imagine the same is happening with your sister. Your parents now want you to go on holiday with them, why can't you just tell them that you don't want to?To answer your last points, what is your contract? You can't sack a companion unless you're her employer and just tell your parents that you don't want to go with them.However I do feel that there's more to this story than meets the eye.
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