A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid, i have bin with my amazing boyfriend for 11 months now. we are very much in love.we trust each other 1000% we have done pretty much everything other than actual sex becuase we decided to wait until i was on the pill and there are complications with that at the moment to do with my heart condition.this doesnt effect anything else. We have tried everything we can hink of, different techniques, different positions but i can't orgasm!he says its ok but i know he is always secrtetly disapointed and its frustrating me too. whats wrong with me? any ideas as to what we could do? nothing to do with toys though, i suggested that and he made it clear that he wants to be the one to give me my first orgasm and i would very much prefer that. any advise would help. thanks guys xxx
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 Hey sweetness..
As the saying goes, good things take time. But when you just wanna feel the ultimate pleasure of an orgasm you have only heard about, I understand that quote is just bullshit! So what to do. Okay, so how do you feel each time you have sex with your boyfriend? Are you nervous? Are you completely comfortable with him, and yourself? These things all contribute to inner body stresses which pretty much make it impossible to relax and thus orgasm. I could be completely off track with that one...
If you are completely comfortable/relaxed and not thinking "i must orgasm, I must orgasm!!!" the whole way through, then I suggest building it up through the whole day. Like on the weekend, get your boyfriend to touch you randomly throughout the day in sexual & loving ways - kiss you passionately before you get out the car, or have a quick feel and get you buzzing in the kitchin - type thing, many ideas he could explore. Then once the night falls you will be so wound up and ready for action, that you'll probably orgasm instantly, or close to it. Honestly babe, from not having a similar experience, I can only give this kind of advice and could be completely off track. So give it a go and see what happens?!
Take care and have fun! xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): One of the biggest things is communication. Tell him what exactly you like him to do, tell him to try other ways of the same thing. Another thing, you have to relax. Sometimes being anxious about wanting an orgasm will make it harder for you to have one. Also, if you masturbate and can have an orgasm or even come close, show him and get him to mimic your actions. Hope this helped some. Good luck.
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